Author: Anné

living your purpose is scary

Living your purpose is scary.

living your purpose is scary

You live in a world where a good number of folks don’t even believe that they or you or anybody has a purpose. While greasing the wheels of capitalism is certainly one purpose we all share, it doesn’t exactly leave you with a lasting or meaningful sense of satisfaction.

I actually believe that you have more than one purpose and also that your purpose evolves over time as you do.

In one primary respect, your purpose is to live your life as fully as you can. To be present to your winding life journey, and to accept it as it is. And that includes healing any and all barriers to living fully.

“We’re so engaged in doing things to achieve purposes of outer value that we forget that the inner value, the rapture that is associated with being alive, is what it’s all about.”
– Joseph Campbell

If you’re reading this, I’m betting you feel a tug in your heart and soul. A tug that pulls you forward into the unknown. A tug that leads to something bigger than yourself.

Sometimes it’s nothing more than a whisper that speaks in your dreams, or subtle messages that are easily dismissed.

Sometimes it’s just an ache in the heart. A knowingness that there’s something calling you but you’re not fully heeding the call.

When it comes to embracing the call of the soul, it’s so easy to compare yourself to others. One gal’s purpose may seem more impactful, or somehow bigger than yours, louder than yours. Brighter. Shinier.

This comparison easily leads to discouragement. If you feel like the longing of your heart isn’t important or glamorous enough or just plain good enough, you’re not going to easily find your way to your purpose.

What I’ve found through my transformational work with women is that there are definite prerequisites to finding and living your purpose.

It’s rare that someone wakes up one day with that “Eureka” knowingness that allows them to step fully onto their soul path and into their purpose.

For most of us, even if we have a good sense of what we’re here for, it can be too scary to really go for it.

If living your purpose – and swimming in the luscious pool of satisfaction and joy that comes with it – is your goal, I find there’s a whole lot of clearing that needs to happen first.

One of the scariest parts of living your purpose is letting go of your very human yet egoic need for safety, clarity, and control over the process.

Joseph Campbell so beautifully said, “We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.

And no, your Ego is NOT a fan of this!

 

The journey to your soul path requires that you show up
in ways you perhaps have never been allowed to before,
or quite possibly haven’t given yourself permission to.

 

You see, the journey to your soul path and purpose is a journey to belonging:

    • A journey of deep inner work; self-awareness that leads to self-acceptance and self-compassion
    • A journey of healing your painful past that keeps you feeling separate, and thus existentially anxious and fearful
    • A journey to finding your authentic self and voice
    • A journey of healing your heartache

The journey to your purpose is a journey of remembering that you have choice and agency. You get to create your reality.

I believe that like the mighty oak tree that begins as a tiny acorn, you, too, were born to flourish, to heal, to evolve, to ascend.

Within each human is planted a profound seed of potential. Are you tapping into the creative energy of that seed and living your soul’s purpose?

If not, we should talk. The world needs you now more than ever. And you need you more than ever, too.

Schedule a complimentary Fear To Freedom Breakthrough call with me to reach a breakthrough in finding and living your life’s purpose. We’ll deep dive to uncover what your soul longs for and clarify the blocks that get in your way. I’ll intuitively guide you to specific steps you can take ASAP to get moving on your soul purpose path in the direction of love, fulfillment and joy..

Do you have a Sister Wound too?

My cheeks betrayed me as they burned red with shame. Which then just made me so angry. The bottom had just dropped out and I had no come back.

It was my first year of high school and my so-called best friend had just told me I couldn’t carry a tune. In a very smug, sassy, not-very-sensitive kind of way. She was in Chorus, so that of course made her the authority on my awful singing voice.

I LOVED to sing and even (very privately) dreamed of being in a band. But I knew I wasn’t a great singer and couldn’t carry a tune without background music to guide me.

But to hear her say it. Out loud in the hallway. I crawled back into my shell. Pissed off and feeling intense betrayal and confusion.

My adolescent self didn’t have this awareness back then, but this is what it meant: I didn’t belong. My feelings and dreams weren’t safe to share. I wasn’t good enough for the team.

As fast as I could, I stuffed that red-hot anger and shame.

And I didn’t dare sing in front of anybody for a verrrrry long time.

I didn’t know about this thing called the Sister Wound. What I did know was that it felt emotionally safer being around dudes. No big talks about feelings or vulnerability, even with the gay guys. And they hardly ever tried to steal my boyfriend. 😉

I had a close gal pal in my twenties but that relationship went up in flames when I found out she was dating my ex and had been lying to me for months about it. (All this after sharing with her that my spidey sense told me there was a mutual attraction/flirtation going on while I was still in what was a serious relationship.)

Repeatedly over my life, I experienced betrayals by other women. Mother figures walking out on me. Sisters betraying my confidence.

And that feeling that I had to compete with other women to somehow be successful. So rather than compete, I bowed out altogether. I stopped trying to connect at a deep level with other women.

I stopped trying to belong. I became the Lone Rangerette, peddling as hard as I could to make it all happen on my own, wondering why I was so lonely. With NO ONE cheering me on. No community of sisters to share my heart with.

Never feeling fully seen nor heard.

Never fully expressing myself.

Never feeling like I belonged in a tribe.

 Always on the outside.

Never taking a single GD singing lesson.

And secretly wondering if other women felt this way, too.


Western society, with its emphasis on ‘rugged individualism’ (a tenet of colonial thinking) has pitted all of us against each other.

This is by design. It’s another means of control and manipulation, intended to keep us disconnected, unhappy and endlessly searching for pain relief.

 

What if I told you that you DO belong?

What if I told you that you are wired for connection, including connection to people of all genders, especially your sisters?

What if I told you that there is a place where you can feel seen, heard, appreciated? And welcomed just as you are?

A place where it’s safe to be YOU. Just as you are.

 

Would you join me there?

I love you.

I see you.

You belong.

Anné

 

P.S. If you’ve always felt a sense of not-belonging, never really feeling safe to be your true self, I want you to know there is another way. There is a place where you belong, where your sisters will lift you up, where your gifts can shine, where you can be cherished and appreciated. If you’re sick and tired of going it all alone and are ready to be fully seen, heard and loved just as you are, please send me a message this instant.

Gratitude and Shame

She didn’t feel grateful. Not one bit.

 

She wasn’t feeling very grateful.

 

Gratitude came easy to her when things were going well.

 

When it came to gratitude, she thought it was reserved for receiving gifts and for when things went well. Like when she felt seen and heard, supported, and nurtured.

 

It was easy to feel grateful as long as her partner helped with dinner and thanked her for doing all the grocery shopping. Or when a project was going well and the money was coming in. Or when her team won.

 

When all the ducks lined up this way, gratitude was the obvious response.

 

And it felt good, too. Like a high vibe hug. This surely must be what they mean by synchronicity and flow! #winning

 

 

 

And then the season would change. Hubby stopped helping with dinner and that promising project went unnoticed and unappreciated.

 

Maybe her feet hurt too much and the nights were too restless. The bills piled up. And nothing seemed to be going and flowing her way anymore.

 

Well what’s to be grateful for, she’d ask? Sure, I’m breathing and eating and have a roof over my head.

 

But it doesn’t feel like winning. It doesn’t feel like a high vibe hug.

 

It feels like too much giving and not enough return on investment.

 

And it feels shameful to admit this because look at all those who truly suffer….

 

 

 

So she tried to feel grateful. She’d imagine all she had compared to those who had not.

 

And she’d feel more shame. And resentment. And frustration. And low, low vibes.

 

She felt stuck. Emotionally exhausted. Worn out. Overwhelmed. And for reals, not very grateful at all.

 

 

 

She couldn’t grasp back then that gratitude was 100% an inside job. That it didn’t matter who won or who lost, the money that came in or went out. It didn’t matter if she did the shopping or the cooking, or if she received gifts or not.

 

She couldn’t grasp back then that it didn’t matter one iota what happened in her environment. If she got what she wanted or lost it all.

 

She also REALLY couldn’t grasp that gratitude was the thinnest veil between herself and absolutely everything she wanted to see, feel and experience in her life. #highvibesfordayz

 

Gratitude – an inside job – is a radical state of receivership.

 

Gratitude is a practice. It is a choice.

 

At it’s best, gratitude is an elevated high vibe feeling state – not an intellectual endeavor – that creates energy shifts with the power to profoundly change your life.

 

 

We’re deep in the most tumultuous, fractious time of our collective lives.

 

Did your team just win or lose? Are your loved ones safe, well, free and happy?

 

Can you hold gratitude in your heart? No matter what?

 

 

 

The Curious Connection Between Gratitude and Shame

 

Have you ever been truly upset by an issue in your life, but felt as though it were wrong of you to have your feelings because somewhere in the world someone else had it worse?

 

Somehow a message penetrated your brain that told you that your problem wasn’t worthy of your heartache (even though it was REALLY real). Because underneath it all, you weren’t worthy… of your experience, of your pain, or of your healing.

 

If you are around my age, chances are pretty good that someone presumably well-intentioned told you to finish your dinner because there were starving kids in Africa. Weird Al even wrote a song about it.

 

This simple statement served to create a powerful subconscious program:

 

      1. There truly isn’t enough to go around. You get dinner while others do not. You receive at the expense of someone else. This is catastrophic for an intuitive, empathic kid’s mindset.

 

It also served to create a direct connection between gratitude and shame. A connection that our culture continually reinforces.

 

Because the message goes like this: You should feel grateful and eat your dinner.

 

The subtext says: Because we live in a world that says you deserve it and someone else does not.

 

And this creates shame in empathic people who can’t understand the system of incredible inequity within which we live.

 

 

We KNOW we should feel grateful for all that we have. But remember, gratitude isn’t an intellectual process. Like the woman described above, we all get emotionally stuck when we deny our real emotions.

 

Add to this the many cultural messages that tie gratitude to shame, it’s easy to see how this gets tangled and confusing.

 

But did you know that in the presence of true gratitude – felt viscerally in the body – shame and lack and fear and all that compare&despair dissolve?

 

And have you gotten it in your bones that gratitude is a powerful practice to support radical self-love?

 

Sure, you’ve heard about its many other benefits, but at its core, gratitude is fundamental to loving yourself.

 

Because…

 

I am 100% certain that you did not create this system of haves and have nots.

I am 100% certain that you deserve to own all of your feelings – no matter what.

I am 100% certain that gratitude is a revolutionary act that will create change in your life and in the world around you.

 

Because love – including and especially self-love – is our core operating mandate.

 

As we turn the corner towards Thanksgiving Weekend/Native American Heritage Day in the US, I invite you to use your ever-expanding wokeness to consider the blessings of being born or living in the wealthiest country on the planet. (This goes for many others outside the US, including Aussies and Kiwis.)

 

The blessings we have to feel free, to prosper, to be educated, and to love who we will have been born at the expense of those who came before us. Our abundance in the US is derived from the extraction of incomparable natural resources that this continent offered and of course, the vast amount of free labor that slavery ensured.

 

This is a tremendously painful and potentially shame-inducing colonial legacy, yes, but we also have an incredible opportunity to create something new out of it. But we have to embrace the blessings first.

 

From this perspective, can you see how gratitude is a revolutionary act of self-love?

 

True gratitude – felt through the senses, not just our words – is a super-charging powerful source for creating change, for creating Heaven On Earth, and for healing painful legacies, be they individual or collective.

 

This is your birthright! Are you claiming it?

 

Big Love,

Anné

 

P.S. This Thanksgiving, as people in my state are standing in huge lines for groceries (again), as I share a beautifully prepared meal with just a few people – one of whom is dying – I will choose gratitude. And I will also honor those who came before. How will it be for you?

 

 

Following My Heart Hurt Like Hell

emotional painI was just shy of 40 and pretty damn sure my life was about to really change.

I was preparing to open a huge art exhibition: a culmination of over a year’s worth of work. It was funded by a major grant from the San Francisco Arts Commission. I had recognition – and more importantly, financial backing – as an artist. And I was proud of my social practice project that highlighted the stories of a small town hit hard by the ’08 foreclosure crisis.

I was about to BLOW MY ART CAREER UP. I was nervous, self-conscious about the exhibition (which included my first documentary film debut), but SO excited.

I had worked myself to the bone (literally dropping at least 10 pounds over the year) but I just knew it was all worth it.

Because this was it. I was about to ARRIVE.

 

 

You probably don’t know this about me, but before I started healing and coaching people out of pain and into a life they love I was actually a fine artist with a BFA in Photography. I mostly made videos and curated art exhibitions.

But I was also a perfectionist. And extremely critical of myself.

 

I strove for excellence, but even harder, I strove for acceptance and approval from others.

 

As an artist, I especially wanted to be recognized by the outside world as that all-elusive thing: a REALLY good artist.

But I didn’t feel like a REALLY good artist. I felt like a hack. Like my ideas weren’t captivating or conceptual enough, like my work was just mediocre.

Which meant that I was mediocre, too. And I desperately wanted to be anything but mediocre. I wanted to be famous.

 

 

Working on the foreclosure project was incredible. I interviewed over 100 people in the community of Tracy, California and recorded their stories. I held space for people to process their personal and collective loss and trauma.

My husband and I short sold our home in Tracy, too (for oodles less than we paid for it ten years prior).

I even interviewed the woman who bought our house. I was pretty casual about it.

I couldn’t wouldn’t see the emotional and physical toll the project was taking on me.

I wasn’t eating right, spending long hours tweaking on video editing, not taking any breaks. And just before starting the project, I’d spent 5 days hospitalized on IV antibiotics to treat an abscess – and didn’t take time to recuperate. I just started in right away.

I was driving myself too hard.

I needed that approval so much that it didn’t matter what my body was saying. I *really needed* to make sure that this project was a success. Because I needed that recognition.

But really and truly, I wanted to ensure that no one could see that I was a mediocre hack. I was terrified the world would see that I was no good.

This kept running on subconscious replay: What if everyone found out that I was actually a total POS? (piece of sh!t)

 

I didn’t love and care for myself. Like, at all. If only I could prove how good I was, I’d be worthy of that love I needed.

 

Fast forward nine months and I have a growing stack of art proposal rejection letters, no huge career break, no fame.

Then the Universe added one last jigger of stress and my body shut down. My adrenals, taxed to the max by years of never-good-enough striving, left town. No more sleep. Like, at all. No energy, unable to work, no will to live, even.

And since my worth was completely tied to what I produced in the world (or so I believed), I was then truly worthless.

 

It was an incredibly dark period in my life.

 

I so badly wanted a way out of my deep emotional pain and depression. I couldn’t find a clean way to end my life. But trust me, I wanted to.

So there I am, sobbing on the floor, desperate for relief. Cursing my body for failing me. Terrified of what comes next. Seeking comfort. Wondering if my life will ever go “back to normal” – sound at all familiar?

Luckily, between sobs, I could hear a tiny little voice that said, “Just make it through today…”

 

 

I had been following my heart – or so I thought. I thought I was “supposed” to be an artist. But it hurt so freakin’ much.

It hurt because I was following my ego. Because I wasn’t willing to address the underlying issue: my own self-criticism, self-doubt, and dare I name it, my self-loathing.

You see, I was that empathic kid that had to take care of all the adults in my life. I got to make sure that everyone else’s emotions and experiences were managed. Self-care was never modeled, but workaholism, perfectionism and several other “isms” certainly were. As a kid, I internalized a message that said, “Your emotions and needs are less important than everyone else’s. You don’t matter all that much.”

I had no clue how to take care of my own emotional and energetic needs. I expected art and the people around me to fill me up. And so I was always hurting, always striving, never filled up.

 

 

What I didn’t know at the time was that my physical crisis was actually a spiritual crisis. Spirit had been trying to get my attention for years, but I refused to heed the call. So Spirit resorted to the good old wrecking ball approach. And lo and behold, it worked!

My life did totally change that year. But certainly not in the way I expected. Out of sheer desperation, I reluctantly said yes to Spirit and to my soul’s calling. But oh how I struggled. And whined. I tried to go it alone. It took a long ass time.

But along the way, I learned how to practice radical self-acceptance. With awareness and compassion, that acceptance turned to self-love.

Spirit taught me that self-care and self-compassion was actually the gateway drug to living in 5D and embodying unity consciousness. Self-care (the deep intentional kind that leads to radical self-love) was THE missing piece peace.

 

 

So this shelter-in-place you’ve been in? I know it. I went through it – painfully and alone – at the end of my 40th year. I was fearful, I was in pain, I was confused. I wanted life to return to normal. (Even though normal meant deeply unhappy and unfulfilled.)

 

It was then – and this is now – an incubation period, a gestation period, and an opportunity for metamorphosis.

 

But you are not the caterpillar that automatically becomes the butterfly. You get to choose if you will heed the call or not.

I struggled against that choice. I wanted it to be another way. I wanted my life to “go back to normal.”

But thankfully, you can truly never go back. Once the light comes in, we can’t go back under the rock. Hide our heads in the sand. The only way out is through. But you weren’t meant to go through it alone. And you shouldn’t.

 

Because a spiritual awakening can feel like walking through flames.

 

It can feel like you are losing your mind. It can feel lonely, or it can feel so sublime and deeply connected you’ll wonder what you struggled against for so long. (Speaking to myself here…)

Humanity is waking up faster than ever right now. And I suspect you are feeling this, and waking up more and more yourself. And even if it’s confusing or hurts some, it’s all worthwhile, because on the other side of it is a life you won’t believe is possible for you. A life of purpose and connection, a life with more peace and ease and love.

 

Dear heart, if you can relate to these feelings of deep inadequacy, or struggles with perfectionism, or total inability or know-how to care for yourself energetically, hear this: you are not alone.

Likewise, if you know humanity is on the precipice of major culture change, you are right and you have a role to play in it.

Just because I struggled doesn’t mean you have to. Spirit showed me the fast track (after I struggled and struggled, of course) and gave me the roadmap to share with you.

If you want to know what this roadmap looks like and if it might work for you too, please book a Fear To Freedom Breakthrough Session with me today.

 

Because life as a butterfly is so much easier, more beautiful and so much more fun.

Witnessing Death

In my intimate conversations with some of my clients and you, my beloved readers, I am repeatedly struck by the intense life situations that many of you are experiencing.

 

It’s so clear that so many of us are witnessing and feeling the macro and the micro converging. What’s happening on the larger global scale is mirrored so clearly on the personal scale for us right now.

 

The unrest and the quest for justice are mirrored in your urge (and hesitancy) to speak your truth boldly.

 

The fires ravaging California and New Mexico mirror the personal reckoning happening within so many of us.

 

The total lack of certainty or ability to control the pandemic/shut down is made more visceral by our own realizations that death is at the doorstep.

 

By death, I mean the end of the old ways. The changing of the guard. The destruction of systems of oppression, patriarchy, elitism, classism.

 

Whatever struggle you are dancing with right now, it has its counterpart in the collective. Here we all are, dancing and struggling separate, yet together.

 


 

I am witnessing someone I love do the slow dance with death.

 

His body withers.

 

It’s like the forest and grasslands overcome with flames.

 

It’s a transmutation. The dissolving of one form in order to create or become something new.

 

I am struck by how a life and a body can represent so much more. His vessel ravaged by cancer feels like the deep pain and unrest in Kenosha, in Minneapolis, in Albuquerque, in Louisville, in Oakland.

 

I am witnessing my own emotions within this experience. It hurts. I am afraid.

 

I am longing and yearning. For him not to die. For justice. For peace. For all of us not to suffer.

 

I am considering his legacy. What he taught us, how he loved us, what he will leave behind.

 


 

What is the fire’s legacy? The protest’s legacy?

 

What is the legacy of the whole of humanity up to 2020? What has history [herstory!] taught us?

 

How have we lived?

 

How have we loved?

 

What will the fires leave behind?

 

 


 

If you want to share your own intense life situation with me – be it a death, transmutation, or a rebirth – I want to hear it, witness you in it and guide you to your next place of growth. Reach out to me here and we’ll find a time to connect.

 

 

 

Letting Go of Scarcity (It’s Scary!)

The Scarcity Mindset

 

We’re conditioned to believe there isn’t enough to go around. This is called a scarcity mindset. It’s an innate fear that there won’t be enough for you. Enough money, time, energy, food, water, or even enough love.

 

In fact, most (or maybe all) of our social systems rely on this mindset of not-enough in order to function.

 

Yes, that means we need to always feel like there isn’t enough for everyone in order for our society (as it currently looks anyway) to keep moving forward. The scarcity mindset greases the wheels of capitalism, elitism, our banking systems, our food distribution systems and keeps us all on the hamster wheel of survival.

 

Some of this scarcity mindset comes from our ancestors having survived things like Holocausts and Great Depressions. Most of this mindset is social programming that keeps us stuck in mindless patterns of consumption, which require us to work more and more to have less and less. (More money, less time. More stuff, higher costs to maintain. More money, more responsibilities, less freedom. More prestige, more pressure to maintain status.)

 

What does scarcity feel like to you? (Here’s how you can tell: think back to a recent experience where you received an unexpected bill in the mail, your car broke down, or you were facing a huge and uncomfortable deadline. Did you worry about where the money or the time would come from? What did that feel like in your body?)

 

To me, it feels like a tightening in my chest and upper abdomen. It feels like fear and worry. It’s that feeling when you see a long line outside the supermarket, or even worse, bare shelves where your favorite foods used to be.

 

The scarcity mindset shows up in all kinds of different thoughts and behaviors. Some are more obvious than others. Can you relate to any of these?

 

Money:

When will my unemployment checks run out?
How much will this car repair set me back?
What if the housing market crashes? (Again.)

 

Time:

What if I can’t complete this project on time or on budget?
There’s never enough time to get it all done.
If only I could clone myself!

 

External:

You have to fend for yourself.
I’ll be happy or feel loved when I have this… (Lose weight, get that job, find that mate)
Will I be able to stay healthy?

 

Internal:

I don’t have the energy to do it all.
I’ll take care of myself after I take care of…
I don’t deserve to be as happy as everyone else.

 

Cultural / Hierarchical / Oppressive:

If I want it done right, I have to do it myself.
(White) Americans are truly exceptional people.
Perfection is mandatory.

 

Scarcity is a method of control. It’s used to manipulate us. We use it to manipulate others. We compete instead of collaborate.

 

And perhaps even more toxic, we use it against ourselves to keep us stuck in limiting patterns. We use our belief in scarcity as an excuse for why we can’t have the life we want.

 

 

The scarcity mindset is a manifestation of the worthiness wound.

 

In fact, your sense of worthiness is in direct proportion to your sense of scarcity and not-enoughness. Yes, this means that when you feel like you don’t have enough money or time or skill or talent, what you are really saying is that you are not worthy.

 

Not enough money at the end of the month? This really means I’m not worthy of experiencing financial security.

 

To thrive, both as individuals and as a society, we need to let go of scarcity consciousness. We need to embrace our whole selves as individuals with unique and incredibly valuable resources that are here to serve your own happiness as well as to serve others.

 

But there’s always a rub, isn’t there?

 

The scarcity mindset is the water we drink and the air that we breathe. It is all we have ever known.

 

Letting go of poisoned air is difficult. We know we ought to give it a try, but we also know we still need to breathe.

 

Letting go of scarcity means we have to learn to trust that we will be taken care of. There will be more air to breathe. Cleaner air that invigorates and nourishes every cell in our body.

 

Letting go of scarcity requires a willingness to push out of our very limited comfort zone into the vast unknown. And to our little unconscious fear-based minds, nothing is scarier than the unknown.

 

The Opposite Of Scarcity

In the world of woo and New Thought, you hear the word abundance kicked around quite a lot. We all use it. We all want to feel abundant. We all want money or what money affords, we want more time, and we surely want better quality experiences. (And there’s nothing inherently wrong with this at all.)

 

It’s easy and quite understandable to think that abundance is the opposite or antidote to scarcity. This is also the air we’ve been breathing all our lives. We strive for abundance.

 

Truly though, the opposite of scarcity or not-enough is very simple. It’s also not that sexy. The opposite of scarcity is ENOUGH.

 

What does ENOUGH feel like to you?

 

For me, it feels like balance, calm, steady, and grounded. It feels like, well… enough! I’m not striving, competing, pushing, or hurting. It feels like peace.

 

 

Three Steps to Letting Go of Scarcity

 

I don’t know who said it, but I love this quote: “Gratitude turns what we have into enough.”

 

There is a law of energy that states that what we appreciate will appreciate (meaning what we are grateful for will grow).

 

The scarcity mindset keeps us focused on what we want more of. It keeps our attention on what we feel we are lacking. And where you attention goes, energy flows. Focus on lack and you get more of it.

 

 

Step One for Letting Go of Scarcity:

 

My number one hack for releasing a scarcity mindset is a gratitude practice. Its also not that sexy but holds powers beyond your wildest imagination. Nothing turns things around like gratitude. It is truly a game changer.

 

Hate your job? Find three things each day to be grateful about it and your energy and mindset will shift (or you’ll set your attention on getting a new job).

 

Start or end your day in gratitude for what you have, or in grateful anticipation for all the good that is coming your way. When your energy starts flowing towards gratitude and appreciation, you’ll be priming your brain to find more to appreciate. Your perception will change, which means your situation will change.

 

 

Step Two for Letting Go of Scarcity:

 

The second hack for changing from a scarcity to abundance/enoughness mindset is curiosity and radical self-awareness.

 

Pick one thing in your life you’d like to change. Maybe it’s your bank balance, your energy level, or your relationship status.

 

If you’re honest with yourself, you might catch yourself in thoughts of scarcity like:

    • I never seem to have extra money at the end of the month.
    • I just don’t have the energy to do everything I want.
    • Am I going to be single forever?

 

It takes a good measure of self-awareness to catch those thoughts in the first place, so kudos to you for noticing them. The next step is to find a way to be curious about what you want to change.

 

Try these statements on instead:

    • What would it mean to me to save a little money each month? What would I have to do in order to have something left over? What would I like to do with that “extra” money?
    • I wonder if I’m doing too much and cramming too much into my day? Is there something in my life I would really like to say NO to? Is there another way I can use my time and energy that suits me better?
    • I wonder when I’m going to meet my next partner? 🙂 Where is that person hanging out right now? Am I showing up right now as the person who can attract the partnership I desire?

 

Can you feel how these questions bring power to you, rather than flowing your power away from you? Can you tell the difference?

 

How can you practice asking questions right now that will free you and your energy?

 

 

Step Three for Letting Go of Scarcity:

 

The third hack (which generally requires outside help) is energy healing. We’re caught up in nearly invisible crappy cultural programming that keeps us stuck in endless loops of sabotage, emotional pain, frustration and doubt. This is not a life sentence, though – unless you want it to be.

 

Energy healing (especially PSYCH-K®) can quickly and efficiently reprogram unhelpful limiting beliefs (neural networks) by replacing them with beliefs and thought patterns that lift you up. Much of our crappy cultural programming serves to shut you up, shut you down and dim your light.

 

Most of our programming relies on your scarcity mindset to maintain the status quo.

 

My clients come to me because they are done with the status quo. They can see that it just isn’t serving them to stay stuck in endlessly repeating loops that leave them tapped out, frustrated, disconnected and discouraged.

 

Like I wrote about here, doing the deep healing work and practicing radical self-acceptance will change everything. You’ll find yourself feeling more comfortable in your skin, you’ll move through the world in new ways, and the world will take notice.

 

In one client’s experience, she got a raise and promotion without even asking for it. Another client had a museum exhibition offer drop in her lap. Another made a radical career shift that included buying a farm and creating a beautiful rural wedding venue.

 

In every case, the status quo was to play it small and safe. To dream maybe just a little, but not too big. All three of these powerful women said no to the quo, took a chance and accomplished something truly remarkable.

 

All three of them co-created these experiences by playing in the space of possibility, curiosity and wonder, even though they’ve been breathing the poisoned air of scarcity their whole lives, too.

 

If they can do it, why not you? If scarcity wasn’t in your blood, what good would you create? How might your life be different? And what’s the gorgeous ripple effect that results?

 

Are you ready to release scarcity? Are you ready to co-create? Are you ready for FREEDOM? If yes, let’s talk.

Silence is Deadly

To my dear community,

 

It is with both a heavy heart and a sheer sense of inspired awe that I witness the largely peaceful protests happening on the streets all across America and even beyond our shores. (Don’t be fooled. The media is amplifying the violence.)

 

To my dear friends, colleagues and family members of color, my heart aches for you. Your sadness is palpable. Your anger justified. I stand in awe of what it takes to just get up and go through your day. Each and every day. After each and every murder of another person of color at the hands of the state.

 

To my dear friends, colleagues and family who, like me, move through the world with safety, ease and privilege, it’s time for me to come clean. And I invite you to join in this awakening, please keep reading.

 

It’s the year for clean and clear vision. 2020. It’s the year that all of our broken and inhumane systems of abusive power, intolerance, marginalization, fear, hatred, and violence get to be examined. HAVE to be examined. Brought to the light. No more hiding. No more silence.

 

The last week has been difficult. There has been a reckoning at the collective and individual levels.

 

As it was sent to do, the Coronavirus has opened the portal wide enough for so many more of us to finally see the ways in which our choices, our actions and our words are contributing to systems of imbalance and injustice, both here at home and across the planet.

 

The murder of George Floyd came at just this pivotal moment. The veils are being lifted as the new paradigm is taking root and the old paradigm built on terror and abuse of power is fighting for it’s very existence.

 

I’m a white-identified woman of mixed-race. The majority of my cousins are half-Black or half-Mexican. I’m in an interracial marriage. Most of my friends are in interracial marriages. I live in one of the most diverse cities in America and routinely break bread with Blacks, Latinos, Japanese, Koreans, South Asians, and Filipinos.

 

The truth is, I thought that bought me a pass.

 

But you see, the well has been poisoned. For all of us. (POC are simply the canary in the coal mine.) And I’ve been silent. I have been inactive. I haven’t been doing enough to dismantle racism and other abusive forms of power and control.

 

Today, I’m owning that. And I’m doing the work to reveal my own unconsciousness. And I’m not going to lie. It feels very vulnerable. Because I have no answers. Just a lot of questions.

 

One thing is certain, even when we’re breaking bread together, we don’t really talk about racism. Sure, we discuss the injustice when someone is killed, but we don’t discuss it at the level of individual complicity or systemic change. We don’t seek to see it reflected in ourselves or our choices because, let’s face it, that is painful AF.

 

And what we can’t or won’t see, we will never resolve. We need to reveal it if we’re going to heal it.

 

I believe that all of us are co-creating our shared 3D reality. Which means the unconsciousness required to kill another human being must also live inside of me. As a lightworker, I don’t get to take responsibility for only the good that happens in the world.

 

I also believe we are being called to create a new reality. A just, equitable, fair, kind and loving reality. And that means we need to reveal our individual and collective unconsciousness (bias, privilege, and racism) in order to heal it.

 

Spirit revealed to me that I have a framework of reflection and inquiry already in place that supports radical self-awareness, which in turn leads to deep level healing. It’s my online program called Tools To Thrive By. It’s the deep inner work my clients do when we work together.

 

I’ll be using that framework with entirely new questions as a way to look at my own internalized and unconscious bias, privilege, and racism. (Because we all have it – it’s the water we’ve been drinking since conception.)

 

And I’m inviting you into inquiry and discussion and collaboration with me. I don’t know what this space will look like yet, but if you want to journey with me to understand your own unconsciousness and have a SAFE place to discuss the difficult stuff, I invite you to join me. (Free. Safe. NOT on Facebook.)

 

All voices are welcome. You can join the private group here: Reveal It to Heal It: Uncovering bias, privilege, and racism to heal our hearts and communities. 

 

Send me a message if you are interested in doing this work together.

 

While I hope you’ll join in this journey (with us or on your own), I know this won’t appeal to everyone. So if you’re looking for a different place to start, try here instead: This is a growing list of important resources that will help you become an active participant in the dismantling of racism. 

 

Lastly, to people of color reading this, what can I offer to aid in your healing right now? Some have suggested group meditations, distance energy healing, space to examine how brown and black bodies respond to trauma, or Reiki attunements to supercharge your own innate healing capabilities. Do any of these resonate for you? Stay tuned for a list of Healers of Color.

 

I am deeply committed to ensuring that Flourish is an antiracist organization. The Flourish movement has been focused on the individual, but the evolution of human consciousness asks us to widen our lens. Please know I am always open and willing to hear your voices on this or any matter.

 

The work of our lifetime is to heal our shame, pain, inherited ancestral wounds and the subconscious programming that keeps us mired in systems of oppression and injustice. The New Earth needs New Humans… New Humans with huge hearts and courageous voices.

 

Big Love to you always – even if we don’t agree.

 

Anné

Maybe it’s time to let the old ways die.

How do we live fully and unapologetically from the heart when everything remains so freakin’ uncertain? 

 

It seemed like this day might never come. Well, it hasn’t quite come yet.

 

We’ve been holed up for over two months here in the San Francisco Bay Area. While we’re not even close to reopening fully, there are signs of activity all around.

 

We’ve run the gamut of emotions:

    1. The initial fear and panic gave way to a genuine kindness and care I’ve only seen after a disaster in the community (remembering the Ghost Ship fire in Oakland).
    2. Then came waves of anxiety and anger over prolonged social isolation.
    3. Followed by a palpable resignation.
    4. Which was ameliorated by neighbors drinking beer from soda cups outside the local bar this last week.

 

How are you managing the social and economic ramifications of COVID-19? It’s been a roller coaster.

 

In one ear, you’ve been urged to go within. This is your opportunity for deep reflection; we get to monitor our consumption and pair it more closely with our values; maybe this is how we elevate human consciousness…

 

In the other ear, you’re urged to get back to normal as soon as possible. Get everyone working and consuming again, so we can end the suffering. Let’s pretend this whole thing never happened (except we’re pretty sure we’re coming back here in the fall)…

 

This weekend we celebrate Memorial Day in the US. We started this tradition back in 1868 after the American Civil War in order to honor those military personnel who were killed in battle.

 

The Civil War may have been the unmistakable line in the sand to which we can trace the deep divide of the American people. (I’m not much of a historian, so I could be totally wrong. It sure makes for a better story, though.)

 

I’m feeling deeply conflicted this week. As states reopen, the division is now visual. It’s literally on your face. You can pick your side based on who wears a mask and who does not.

 

The energetic pulse has shifted again to indignation and anger. With my usual curiosity and a healthy dose of managed concern (which is quite different from worry or fear) I’m taking in the news of employees receiving broken arms or death sentences for asking patrons to wear masks in public spaces.

 

And of course, there’s Arnaud Arberry’s murder. And who else was swept under the rug thanks to 24-hour fear-mongering Corona coverage?

 

Is this what we are returning to? Is this what “back to normal” looks like in America?

 

It’s important to honor what has been lost and harvest the joys, learnings and wisdom so that we may move on. This is why we celebrate Memorial Day. To honor the lives of those who died while in service to the nation.

 

What if we memorialized the old ways in order to evolve? What can we learn and honor from our past so that we can elevate and move on from a place of wisdom?

 

Maybe it is time to let the old ways die.

 

If we are creating a New Earth, do we have room in it for competition? For division? For entitlement at the expense of others? Do we have room for murder or hatred? For fear and anger that runs so deep that another’s life means far less than your own?

 

What are the old ways we want to keep and nurture?

 

What are the old ways we – collectively and individually – are ready to let die?

 

I’m ready to hug and hold the people I love, share meals and stories and breathe the same air.

 

I’m ready for humans to feel whole, to embrace and embody their worthiness.

 

I’m ready for all of us to feel grounded, rooted and safe. And to know they are connected – truly intrinsically connected – to everyone and everything. To feel inspired and in love with their life. And to live fully from the heart.

 

What’s at stake is only everything.