Category: Blog

Gratitude and Shame

She didn’t feel grateful. Not one bit.

 

She wasn’t feeling very grateful.

 

Gratitude came easy to her when things were going well.

 

When it came to gratitude, she thought it was reserved for receiving gifts and for when things went well. Like when she felt seen and heard, supported, and nurtured.

 

It was easy to feel grateful as long as her partner helped with dinner and thanked her for doing all the grocery shopping. Or when a project was going well and the money was coming in. Or when her team won.

 

When all the ducks lined up this way, gratitude was the obvious response.

 

And it felt good, too. Like a high vibe hug. This surely must be what they mean by synchronicity and flow! #winning

 

 

 

And then the season would change. Hubby stopped helping with dinner and that promising project went unnoticed and unappreciated.

 

Maybe her feet hurt too much and the nights were too restless. The bills piled up. And nothing seemed to be going and flowing her way anymore.

 

Well what’s to be grateful for, she’d ask? Sure, I’m breathing and eating and have a roof over my head.

 

But it doesn’t feel like winning. It doesn’t feel like a high vibe hug.

 

It feels like too much giving and not enough return on investment.

 

And it feels shameful to admit this because look at all those who truly suffer….

 

 

 

So she tried to feel grateful. She’d imagine all she had compared to those who had not.

 

And she’d feel more shame. And resentment. And frustration. And low, low vibes.

 

She felt stuck. Emotionally exhausted. Worn out. Overwhelmed. And for reals, not very grateful at all.

 

 

 

She couldn’t grasp back then that gratitude was 100% an inside job. That it didn’t matter who won or who lost, the money that came in or went out. It didn’t matter if she did the shopping or the cooking, or if she received gifts or not.

 

She couldn’t grasp back then that it didn’t matter one iota what happened in her environment. If she got what she wanted or lost it all.

 

She also REALLY couldn’t grasp that gratitude was the thinnest veil between herself and absolutely everything she wanted to see, feel and experience in her life. #highvibesfordayz

 

Gratitude – an inside job – is a radical state of receivership.

 

Gratitude is a practice. It is a choice.

 

At it’s best, gratitude is an elevated high vibe feeling state – not an intellectual endeavor – that creates energy shifts with the power to profoundly change your life.

 

 

We’re deep in the most tumultuous, fractious time of our collective lives.

 

Did your team just win or lose? Are your loved ones safe, well, free and happy?

 

Can you hold gratitude in your heart? No matter what?

 

 

 

The Curious Connection Between Gratitude and Shame

 

Have you ever been truly upset by an issue in your life, but felt as though it were wrong of you to have your feelings because somewhere in the world someone else had it worse?

 

Somehow a message penetrated your brain that told you that your problem wasn’t worthy of your heartache (even though it was REALLY real). Because underneath it all, you weren’t worthy… of your experience, of your pain, or of your healing.

 

If you are around my age, chances are pretty good that someone presumably well-intentioned told you to finish your dinner because there were starving kids in Africa. Weird Al even wrote a song about it.

 

This simple statement served to create a powerful subconscious program:

 

      1. There truly isn’t enough to go around. You get dinner while others do not. You receive at the expense of someone else. This is catastrophic for an intuitive, empathic kid’s mindset.

 

It also served to create a direct connection between gratitude and shame. A connection that our culture continually reinforces.

 

Because the message goes like this: You should feel grateful and eat your dinner.

 

The subtext says: Because we live in a world that says you deserve it and someone else does not.

 

And this creates shame in empathic people who can’t understand the system of incredible inequity within which we live.

 

 

We KNOW we should feel grateful for all that we have. But remember, gratitude isn’t an intellectual process. Like the woman described above, we all get emotionally stuck when we deny our real emotions.

 

Add to this the many cultural messages that tie gratitude to shame, it’s easy to see how this gets tangled and confusing.

 

But did you know that in the presence of true gratitude – felt viscerally in the body – shame and lack and fear and all that compare&despair dissolve?

 

And have you gotten it in your bones that gratitude is a powerful practice to support radical self-love?

 

Sure, you’ve heard about its many other benefits, but at its core, gratitude is fundamental to loving yourself.

 

Because…

 

I am 100% certain that you did not create this system of haves and have nots.

I am 100% certain that you deserve to own all of your feelings – no matter what.

I am 100% certain that gratitude is a revolutionary act that will create change in your life and in the world around you.

 

Because love – including and especially self-love – is our core operating mandate.

 

As we turn the corner towards Thanksgiving Weekend/Native American Heritage Day in the US, I invite you to use your ever-expanding wokeness to consider the blessings of being born or living in the wealthiest country on the planet. (This goes for many others outside the US, including Aussies and Kiwis.)

 

The blessings we have to feel free, to prosper, to be educated, and to love who we will have been born at the expense of those who came before us. Our abundance in the US is derived from the extraction of incomparable natural resources that this continent offered and of course, the vast amount of free labor that slavery ensured.

 

This is a tremendously painful and potentially shame-inducing colonial legacy, yes, but we also have an incredible opportunity to create something new out of it. But we have to embrace the blessings first.

 

From this perspective, can you see how gratitude is a revolutionary act of self-love?

 

True gratitude – felt through the senses, not just our words – is a super-charging powerful source for creating change, for creating Heaven On Earth, and for healing painful legacies, be they individual or collective.

 

This is your birthright! Are you claiming it?

 

Big Love,

Anné

 

P.S. This Thanksgiving, as people in my state are standing in huge lines for groceries (again), as I share a beautifully prepared meal with just a few people – one of whom is dying – I will choose gratitude. And I will also honor those who came before. How will it be for you?

 

 

Following My Heart Hurt Like Hell

emotional painI was just shy of 40 and pretty damn sure my life was about to really change.

I was preparing to open a huge art exhibition: a culmination of over a year’s worth of work. It was funded by a major grant from the San Francisco Arts Commission. I had recognition – and more importantly, financial backing – as an artist. And I was proud of my social practice project that highlighted the stories of a small town hit hard by the ’08 foreclosure crisis.

I was about to BLOW MY ART CAREER UP. I was nervous, self-conscious about the exhibition (which included my first documentary film debut), but SO excited.

I had worked myself to the bone (literally dropping at least 10 pounds over the year) but I just knew it was all worth it.

Because this was it. I was about to ARRIVE.

 

 

You probably don’t know this about me, but before I started healing and coaching people out of pain and into a life they love I was actually a fine artist with a BFA in Photography. I mostly made videos and curated art exhibitions.

But I was also a perfectionist. And extremely critical of myself.

 

I strove for excellence, but even harder, I strove for acceptance and approval from others.

 

As an artist, I especially wanted to be recognized by the outside world as that all-elusive thing: a REALLY good artist.

But I didn’t feel like a REALLY good artist. I felt like a hack. Like my ideas weren’t captivating or conceptual enough, like my work was just mediocre.

Which meant that I was mediocre, too. And I desperately wanted to be anything but mediocre. I wanted to be famous.

 

 

Working on the foreclosure project was incredible. I interviewed over 100 people in the community of Tracy, California and recorded their stories. I held space for people to process their personal and collective loss and trauma.

My husband and I short sold our home in Tracy, too (for oodles less than we paid for it ten years prior).

I even interviewed the woman who bought our house. I was pretty casual about it.

I couldn’t wouldn’t see the emotional and physical toll the project was taking on me.

I wasn’t eating right, spending long hours tweaking on video editing, not taking any breaks. And just before starting the project, I’d spent 5 days hospitalized on IV antibiotics to treat an abscess – and didn’t take time to recuperate. I just started in right away.

I was driving myself too hard.

I needed that approval so much that it didn’t matter what my body was saying. I *really needed* to make sure that this project was a success. Because I needed that recognition.

But really and truly, I wanted to ensure that no one could see that I was a mediocre hack. I was terrified the world would see that I was no good.

This kept running on subconscious replay: What if everyone found out that I was actually a total POS? (piece of sh!t)

 

I didn’t love and care for myself. Like, at all. If only I could prove how good I was, I’d be worthy of that love I needed.

 

Fast forward nine months and I have a growing stack of art proposal rejection letters, no huge career break, no fame.

Then the Universe added one last jigger of stress and my body shut down. My adrenals, taxed to the max by years of never-good-enough striving, left town. No more sleep. Like, at all. No energy, unable to work, no will to live, even.

And since my worth was completely tied to what I produced in the world (or so I believed), I was then truly worthless.

 

It was an incredibly dark period in my life.

 

I so badly wanted a way out of my deep emotional pain and depression. I couldn’t find a clean way to end my life. But trust me, I wanted to.

So there I am, sobbing on the floor, desperate for relief. Cursing my body for failing me. Terrified of what comes next. Seeking comfort. Wondering if my life will ever go “back to normal” – sound at all familiar?

Luckily, between sobs, I could hear a tiny little voice that said, “Just make it through today…”

 

 

I had been following my heart – or so I thought. I thought I was “supposed” to be an artist. But it hurt so freakin’ much.

It hurt because I was following my ego. Because I wasn’t willing to address the underlying issue: my own self-criticism, self-doubt, and dare I name it, my self-loathing.

You see, I was that empathic kid that had to take care of all the adults in my life. I got to make sure that everyone else’s emotions and experiences were managed. Self-care was never modeled, but workaholism, perfectionism and several other “isms” certainly were. As a kid, I internalized a message that said, “Your emotions and needs are less important than everyone else’s. You don’t matter all that much.”

I had no clue how to take care of my own emotional and energetic needs. I expected art and the people around me to fill me up. And so I was always hurting, always striving, never filled up.

 

 

What I didn’t know at the time was that my physical crisis was actually a spiritual crisis. Spirit had been trying to get my attention for years, but I refused to heed the call. So Spirit resorted to the good old wrecking ball approach. And lo and behold, it worked!

My life did totally change that year. But certainly not in the way I expected. Out of sheer desperation, I reluctantly said yes to Spirit and to my soul’s calling. But oh how I struggled. And whined. I tried to go it alone. It took a long ass time.

But along the way, I learned how to practice radical self-acceptance. With awareness and compassion, that acceptance turned to self-love.

Spirit taught me that self-care and self-compassion was actually the gateway drug to living in 5D and embodying unity consciousness. Self-care (the deep intentional kind that leads to radical self-love) was THE missing piece peace.

 

 

So this shelter-in-place you’ve been in? I know it. I went through it – painfully and alone – at the end of my 40th year. I was fearful, I was in pain, I was confused. I wanted life to return to normal. (Even though normal meant deeply unhappy and unfulfilled.)

 

It was then – and this is now – an incubation period, a gestation period, and an opportunity for metamorphosis.

 

But you are not the caterpillar that automatically becomes the butterfly. You get to choose if you will heed the call or not.

I struggled against that choice. I wanted it to be another way. I wanted my life to “go back to normal.”

But thankfully, you can truly never go back. Once the light comes in, we can’t go back under the rock. Hide our heads in the sand. The only way out is through. But you weren’t meant to go through it alone. And you shouldn’t.

 

Because a spiritual awakening can feel like walking through flames.

 

It can feel like you are losing your mind. It can feel lonely, or it can feel so sublime and deeply connected you’ll wonder what you struggled against for so long. (Speaking to myself here…)

Humanity is waking up faster than ever right now. And I suspect you are feeling this, and waking up more and more yourself. And even if it’s confusing or hurts some, it’s all worthwhile, because on the other side of it is a life you won’t believe is possible for you. A life of purpose and connection, a life with more peace and ease and love.

 

Dear heart, if you can relate to these feelings of deep inadequacy, or struggles with perfectionism, or total inability or know-how to care for yourself energetically, hear this: you are not alone.

Likewise, if you know humanity is on the precipice of major culture change, you are right and you have a role to play in it.

Just because I struggled doesn’t mean you have to. Spirit showed me the fast track (after I struggled and struggled, of course) and gave me the roadmap to share with you.

If you want to know what this roadmap looks like and if it might work for you too, please book a Fear To Freedom Breakthrough Session with me today.

 

Because life as a butterfly is so much easier, more beautiful and so much more fun.

Witnessing Death

In my intimate conversations with some of my clients and you, my beloved readers, I am repeatedly struck by the intense life situations that many of you are experiencing.

 

It’s so clear that so many of us are witnessing and feeling the macro and the micro converging. What’s happening on the larger global scale is mirrored so clearly on the personal scale for us right now.

 

The unrest and the quest for justice are mirrored in your urge (and hesitancy) to speak your truth boldly.

 

The fires ravaging California and New Mexico mirror the personal reckoning happening within so many of us.

 

The total lack of certainty or ability to control the pandemic/shut down is made more visceral by our own realizations that death is at the doorstep.

 

By death, I mean the end of the old ways. The changing of the guard. The destruction of systems of oppression, patriarchy, elitism, classism.

 

Whatever struggle you are dancing with right now, it has its counterpart in the collective. Here we all are, dancing and struggling separate, yet together.

 


 

I am witnessing someone I love do the slow dance with death.

 

His body withers.

 

It’s like the forest and grasslands overcome with flames.

 

It’s a transmutation. The dissolving of one form in order to create or become something new.

 

I am struck by how a life and a body can represent so much more. His vessel ravaged by cancer feels like the deep pain and unrest in Kenosha, in Minneapolis, in Albuquerque, in Louisville, in Oakland.

 

I am witnessing my own emotions within this experience. It hurts. I am afraid.

 

I am longing and yearning. For him not to die. For justice. For peace. For all of us not to suffer.

 

I am considering his legacy. What he taught us, how he loved us, what he will leave behind.

 


 

What is the fire’s legacy? The protest’s legacy?

 

What is the legacy of the whole of humanity up to 2020? What has history [herstory!] taught us?

 

How have we lived?

 

How have we loved?

 

What will the fires leave behind?

 

 


 

If you want to share your own intense life situation with me – be it a death, transmutation, or a rebirth – I want to hear it, witness you in it and guide you to your next place of growth. Reach out to me here and we’ll find a time to connect.

 

 

 

Letting Go of Scarcity (It’s Scary!)

The Scarcity Mindset

 

We’re conditioned to believe there isn’t enough to go around. This is called a scarcity mindset. It’s an innate fear that there won’t be enough for you. Enough money, time, energy, food, water, or even enough love.

 

In fact, most (or maybe all) of our social systems rely on this mindset of not-enough in order to function.

 

Yes, that means we need to always feel like there isn’t enough for everyone in order for our society (as it currently looks anyway) to keep moving forward. The scarcity mindset greases the wheels of capitalism, elitism, our banking systems, our food distribution systems and keeps us all on the hamster wheel of survival.

 

Some of this scarcity mindset comes from our ancestors having survived things like Holocausts and Great Depressions. Most of this mindset is social programming that keeps us stuck in mindless patterns of consumption, which require us to work more and more to have less and less. (More money, less time. More stuff, higher costs to maintain. More money, more responsibilities, less freedom. More prestige, more pressure to maintain status.)

 

What does scarcity feel like to you? (Here’s how you can tell: think back to a recent experience where you received an unexpected bill in the mail, your car broke down, or you were facing a huge and uncomfortable deadline. Did you worry about where the money or the time would come from? What did that feel like in your body?)

 

To me, it feels like a tightening in my chest and upper abdomen. It feels like fear and worry. It’s that feeling when you see a long line outside the supermarket, or even worse, bare shelves where your favorite foods used to be.

 

The scarcity mindset shows up in all kinds of different thoughts and behaviors. Some are more obvious than others. Can you relate to any of these?

 

Money:

When will my unemployment checks run out?
How much will this car repair set me back?
What if the housing market crashes? (Again.)

 

Time:

What if I can’t complete this project on time or on budget?
There’s never enough time to get it all done.
If only I could clone myself!

 

External:

You have to fend for yourself.
I’ll be happy or feel loved when I have this… (Lose weight, get that job, find that mate)
Will I be able to stay healthy?

 

Internal:

I don’t have the energy to do it all.
I’ll take care of myself after I take care of…
I don’t deserve to be as happy as everyone else.

 

Cultural / Hierarchical / Oppressive:

If I want it done right, I have to do it myself.
(White) Americans are truly exceptional people.
Perfection is mandatory.

 

Scarcity is a method of control. It’s used to manipulate us. We use it to manipulate others. We compete instead of collaborate.

 

And perhaps even more toxic, we use it against ourselves to keep us stuck in limiting patterns. We use our belief in scarcity as an excuse for why we can’t have the life we want.

 

 

The scarcity mindset is a manifestation of the worthiness wound.

 

In fact, your sense of worthiness is in direct proportion to your sense of scarcity and not-enoughness. Yes, this means that when you feel like you don’t have enough money or time or skill or talent, what you are really saying is that you are not worthy.

 

Not enough money at the end of the month? This really means I’m not worthy of experiencing financial security.

 

To thrive, both as individuals and as a society, we need to let go of scarcity consciousness. We need to embrace our whole selves as individuals with unique and incredibly valuable resources that are here to serve your own happiness as well as to serve others.

 

But there’s always a rub, isn’t there?

 

The scarcity mindset is the water we drink and the air that we breathe. It is all we have ever known.

 

Letting go of poisoned air is difficult. We know we ought to give it a try, but we also know we still need to breathe.

 

Letting go of scarcity means we have to learn to trust that we will be taken care of. There will be more air to breathe. Cleaner air that invigorates and nourishes every cell in our body.

 

Letting go of scarcity requires a willingness to push out of our very limited comfort zone into the vast unknown. And to our little unconscious fear-based minds, nothing is scarier than the unknown.

 

The Opposite Of Scarcity

In the world of woo and New Thought, you hear the word abundance kicked around quite a lot. We all use it. We all want to feel abundant. We all want money or what money affords, we want more time, and we surely want better quality experiences. (And there’s nothing inherently wrong with this at all.)

 

It’s easy and quite understandable to think that abundance is the opposite or antidote to scarcity. This is also the air we’ve been breathing all our lives. We strive for abundance.

 

Truly though, the opposite of scarcity or not-enough is very simple. It’s also not that sexy. The opposite of scarcity is ENOUGH.

 

What does ENOUGH feel like to you?

 

For me, it feels like balance, calm, steady, and grounded. It feels like, well… enough! I’m not striving, competing, pushing, or hurting. It feels like peace.

 

 

Three Steps to Letting Go of Scarcity

 

I don’t know who said it, but I love this quote: “Gratitude turns what we have into enough.”

 

There is a law of energy that states that what we appreciate will appreciate (meaning what we are grateful for will grow).

 

The scarcity mindset keeps us focused on what we want more of. It keeps our attention on what we feel we are lacking. And where you attention goes, energy flows. Focus on lack and you get more of it.

 

 

Step One for Letting Go of Scarcity:

 

My number one hack for releasing a scarcity mindset is a gratitude practice. Its also not that sexy but holds powers beyond your wildest imagination. Nothing turns things around like gratitude. It is truly a game changer.

 

Hate your job? Find three things each day to be grateful about it and your energy and mindset will shift (or you’ll set your attention on getting a new job).

 

Start or end your day in gratitude for what you have, or in grateful anticipation for all the good that is coming your way. When your energy starts flowing towards gratitude and appreciation, you’ll be priming your brain to find more to appreciate. Your perception will change, which means your situation will change.

 

 

Step Two for Letting Go of Scarcity:

 

The second hack for changing from a scarcity to abundance/enoughness mindset is curiosity and radical self-awareness.

 

Pick one thing in your life you’d like to change. Maybe it’s your bank balance, your energy level, or your relationship status.

 

If you’re honest with yourself, you might catch yourself in thoughts of scarcity like:

    • I never seem to have extra money at the end of the month.
    • I just don’t have the energy to do everything I want.
    • Am I going to be single forever?

 

It takes a good measure of self-awareness to catch those thoughts in the first place, so kudos to you for noticing them. The next step is to find a way to be curious about what you want to change.

 

Try these statements on instead:

    • What would it mean to me to save a little money each month? What would I have to do in order to have something left over? What would I like to do with that “extra” money?
    • I wonder if I’m doing too much and cramming too much into my day? Is there something in my life I would really like to say NO to? Is there another way I can use my time and energy that suits me better?
    • I wonder when I’m going to meet my next partner? 🙂 Where is that person hanging out right now? Am I showing up right now as the person who can attract the partnership I desire?

 

Can you feel how these questions bring power to you, rather than flowing your power away from you? Can you tell the difference?

 

How can you practice asking questions right now that will free you and your energy?

 

 

Step Three for Letting Go of Scarcity:

 

The third hack (which generally requires outside help) is energy healing. We’re caught up in nearly invisible crappy cultural programming that keeps us stuck in endless loops of sabotage, emotional pain, frustration and doubt. This is not a life sentence, though – unless you want it to be.

 

Energy healing (especially PSYCH-K®) can quickly and efficiently reprogram unhelpful limiting beliefs (neural networks) by replacing them with beliefs and thought patterns that lift you up. Much of our crappy cultural programming serves to shut you up, shut you down and dim your light.

 

Most of our programming relies on your scarcity mindset to maintain the status quo.

 

My clients come to me because they are done with the status quo. They can see that it just isn’t serving them to stay stuck in endlessly repeating loops that leave them tapped out, frustrated, disconnected and discouraged.

 

Like I wrote about here, doing the deep healing work and practicing radical self-acceptance will change everything. You’ll find yourself feeling more comfortable in your skin, you’ll move through the world in new ways, and the world will take notice.

 

In one client’s experience, she got a raise and promotion without even asking for it. Another client had a museum exhibition offer drop in her lap. Another made a radical career shift that included buying a farm and creating a beautiful rural wedding venue.

 

In every case, the status quo was to play it small and safe. To dream maybe just a little, but not too big. All three of these powerful women said no to the quo, took a chance and accomplished something truly remarkable.

 

All three of them co-created these experiences by playing in the space of possibility, curiosity and wonder, even though they’ve been breathing the poisoned air of scarcity their whole lives, too.

 

If they can do it, why not you? If scarcity wasn’t in your blood, what good would you create? How might your life be different? And what’s the gorgeous ripple effect that results?

 

Are you ready to release scarcity? Are you ready to co-create? Are you ready for FREEDOM? If yes, let’s talk.

Silence is Deadly

To my dear community,

 

It is with both a heavy heart and a sheer sense of inspired awe that I witness the largely peaceful protests happening on the streets all across America and even beyond our shores. (Don’t be fooled. The media is amplifying the violence.)

 

To my dear friends, colleagues and family members of color, my heart aches for you. Your sadness is palpable. Your anger justified. I stand in awe of what it takes to just get up and go through your day. Each and every day. After each and every murder of another person of color at the hands of the state.

 

To my dear friends, colleagues and family who, like me, move through the world with safety, ease and privilege, it’s time for me to come clean. And I invite you to join in this awakening, please keep reading.

 

It’s the year for clean and clear vision. 2020. It’s the year that all of our broken and inhumane systems of abusive power, intolerance, marginalization, fear, hatred, and violence get to be examined. HAVE to be examined. Brought to the light. No more hiding. No more silence.

 

The last week has been difficult. There has been a reckoning at the collective and individual levels.

 

As it was sent to do, the Coronavirus has opened the portal wide enough for so many more of us to finally see the ways in which our choices, our actions and our words are contributing to systems of imbalance and injustice, both here at home and across the planet.

 

The murder of George Floyd came at just this pivotal moment. The veils are being lifted as the new paradigm is taking root and the old paradigm built on terror and abuse of power is fighting for it’s very existence.

 

I’m a white-identified woman of mixed-race. The majority of my cousins are half-Black or half-Mexican. I’m in an interracial marriage. Most of my friends are in interracial marriages. I live in one of the most diverse cities in America and routinely break bread with Blacks, Latinos, Japanese, Koreans, South Asians, and Filipinos.

 

The truth is, I thought that bought me a pass.

 

But you see, the well has been poisoned. For all of us. (POC are simply the canary in the coal mine.) And I’ve been silent. I have been inactive. I haven’t been doing enough to dismantle racism and other abusive forms of power and control.

 

Today, I’m owning that. And I’m doing the work to reveal my own unconsciousness. And I’m not going to lie. It feels very vulnerable. Because I have no answers. Just a lot of questions.

 

One thing is certain, even when we’re breaking bread together, we don’t really talk about racism. Sure, we discuss the injustice when someone is killed, but we don’t discuss it at the level of individual complicity or systemic change. We don’t seek to see it reflected in ourselves or our choices because, let’s face it, that is painful AF.

 

And what we can’t or won’t see, we will never resolve. We need to reveal it if we’re going to heal it.

 

I believe that all of us are co-creating our shared 3D reality. Which means the unconsciousness required to kill another human being must also live inside of me. As a lightworker, I don’t get to take responsibility for only the good that happens in the world.

 

I also believe we are being called to create a new reality. A just, equitable, fair, kind and loving reality. And that means we need to reveal our individual and collective unconsciousness (bias, privilege, and racism) in order to heal it.

 

Spirit revealed to me that I have a framework of reflection and inquiry already in place that supports radical self-awareness, which in turn leads to deep level healing. It’s my online program called Tools To Thrive By. It’s the deep inner work my clients do when we work together.

 

I’ll be using that framework with entirely new questions as a way to look at my own internalized and unconscious bias, privilege, and racism. (Because we all have it – it’s the water we’ve been drinking since conception.)

 

And I’m inviting you into inquiry and discussion and collaboration with me. I don’t know what this space will look like yet, but if you want to journey with me to understand your own unconsciousness and have a SAFE place to discuss the difficult stuff, I invite you to join me. (Free. Safe. NOT on Facebook.)

 

All voices are welcome. You can join the private group here: Reveal It to Heal It: Uncovering bias, privilege, and racism to heal our hearts and communities. 

 

Send me a message if you are interested in doing this work together.

 

While I hope you’ll join in this journey (with us or on your own), I know this won’t appeal to everyone. So if you’re looking for a different place to start, try here instead: This is a growing list of important resources that will help you become an active participant in the dismantling of racism. 

 

Lastly, to people of color reading this, what can I offer to aid in your healing right now? Some have suggested group meditations, distance energy healing, space to examine how brown and black bodies respond to trauma, or Reiki attunements to supercharge your own innate healing capabilities. Do any of these resonate for you? Stay tuned for a list of Healers of Color.

 

I am deeply committed to ensuring that Flourish is an antiracist organization. The Flourish movement has been focused on the individual, but the evolution of human consciousness asks us to widen our lens. Please know I am always open and willing to hear your voices on this or any matter.

 

The work of our lifetime is to heal our shame, pain, inherited ancestral wounds and the subconscious programming that keeps us mired in systems of oppression and injustice. The New Earth needs New Humans… New Humans with huge hearts and courageous voices.

 

Big Love to you always – even if we don’t agree.

 

Anné

Maybe it’s time to let the old ways die.

How do we live fully and unapologetically from the heart when everything remains so freakin’ uncertain? 

 

It seemed like this day might never come. Well, it hasn’t quite come yet.

 

We’ve been holed up for over two months here in the San Francisco Bay Area. While we’re not even close to reopening fully, there are signs of activity all around.

 

We’ve run the gamut of emotions:

    1. The initial fear and panic gave way to a genuine kindness and care I’ve only seen after a disaster in the community (remembering the Ghost Ship fire in Oakland).
    2. Then came waves of anxiety and anger over prolonged social isolation.
    3. Followed by a palpable resignation.
    4. Which was ameliorated by neighbors drinking beer from soda cups outside the local bar this last week.

 

How are you managing the social and economic ramifications of COVID-19? It’s been a roller coaster.

 

In one ear, you’ve been urged to go within. This is your opportunity for deep reflection; we get to monitor our consumption and pair it more closely with our values; maybe this is how we elevate human consciousness…

 

In the other ear, you’re urged to get back to normal as soon as possible. Get everyone working and consuming again, so we can end the suffering. Let’s pretend this whole thing never happened (except we’re pretty sure we’re coming back here in the fall)…

 

This weekend we celebrate Memorial Day in the US. We started this tradition back in 1868 after the American Civil War in order to honor those military personnel who were killed in battle.

 

The Civil War may have been the unmistakable line in the sand to which we can trace the deep divide of the American people. (I’m not much of a historian, so I could be totally wrong. It sure makes for a better story, though.)

 

I’m feeling deeply conflicted this week. As states reopen, the division is now visual. It’s literally on your face. You can pick your side based on who wears a mask and who does not.

 

The energetic pulse has shifted again to indignation and anger. With my usual curiosity and a healthy dose of managed concern (which is quite different from worry or fear) I’m taking in the news of employees receiving broken arms or death sentences for asking patrons to wear masks in public spaces.

 

And of course, there’s Arnaud Arberry’s murder. And who else was swept under the rug thanks to 24-hour fear-mongering Corona coverage?

 

Is this what we are returning to? Is this what “back to normal” looks like in America?

 

It’s important to honor what has been lost and harvest the joys, learnings and wisdom so that we may move on. This is why we celebrate Memorial Day. To honor the lives of those who died while in service to the nation.

 

What if we memorialized the old ways in order to evolve? What can we learn and honor from our past so that we can elevate and move on from a place of wisdom?

 

Maybe it is time to let the old ways die.

 

If we are creating a New Earth, do we have room in it for competition? For division? For entitlement at the expense of others? Do we have room for murder or hatred? For fear and anger that runs so deep that another’s life means far less than your own?

 

What are the old ways we want to keep and nurture?

 

What are the old ways we – collectively and individually – are ready to let die?

 

I’m ready to hug and hold the people I love, share meals and stories and breathe the same air.

 

I’m ready for humans to feel whole, to embrace and embody their worthiness.

 

I’m ready for all of us to feel grounded, rooted and safe. And to know they are connected – truly intrinsically connected – to everyone and everything. To feel inspired and in love with their life. And to live fully from the heart.

 

What’s at stake is only everything.

 

Fear and Loathing in Corona-Land

afraid of corona, fear of coronaNo, Corona-Land is not some mythical tropical island where ice-cold buckets of Corona beers magically appear at your perfectly shaded hammock.

 

It’s this place – right here – where we humans now reside. For some, it’s a place of curiosity and watchfulness. For many others it’s a place of distrust and fear, and something that at times, borders on outright panic.

 

Does the Coronavirus have you on edge?

Do you think twice about signing the iPad at the coffee shop with your very own finger? What about the gas pump? And worse, what’s lurking at your favorite restaurant?

Are you flashing back to ’08 as your 401-K starts to wither? Wondering how far your savings might tumble this time?

 

Even though I’ve literally made it my job to locate and uproot unfounded fears in my clients and myself, I notice that I’m thinking different thoughts at the grocery store. I’m looking around to see who’s sniffling, sneezing, or coughing.

 

The vibration of mass-scale fear is seeping into my system. And if I’ve got a boatload of tools to counteract that fear, how is everyone else managing?

 

What do notice over the last week in your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors? Where are you thinking and acting from fear? Does it serve you?

 

You are built for fear. Dare we say… addicted to it?

 

Fear keeps us alive. It’s what kept our ancestors out of the tiger’s mouth.

 

In fact, our bodies are equipped with an incredible threat response system that has saved kerjillions of human lives over countless millennia. You know it as Fight, Flight, or Freeze.

 

This system is pretty amazing. It’s a combination of lightning fast, mostly involuntary responses to a perceived existential threat.

 

As soon as you see that tiger your vision narrows, your body tenses, your heart starts pumping. Adrenaline starts coursing through your veins. It’s go time! All in preparation to fight, to flee, or to hide.

 

That threat can be existential, meaning your very life is at stake, or it can be a threat to the ego, the spirit, or the heart and mind.

 

This is where that genius system of ours breaks down. Way down.

 

Because I don’t know about you, but the last time I saw a tiger chase me was, well… never!

 

What we have are near misses on the highway, not enough social media likes, bosses we hate, people who betray us, and right now: minor to major hysteria over the Coronavirus.

 

All of these scenarios cause us to live in fear. But unlike our ancestors and that tiger, our perceived threats don’t go back to their den, leaving us to peacefully recover and paint some cool stuff in caves.

 

Because of our big ol’ brains, our perceived threats never go away. Once that mean boss is removed, we simply find another reason to keep the familiar, fear-induced chemical reaction happening in our bodies.

 

We’ve become addicted to fear.

 

Have you noticed yourself slipping into fear lately (or historically)? What’s the cost of playing in this space?

 

You need a strong immune system right now. This instant!

 

But here’s the thing, when we’re living in fear, it takes a heavy toll on our immune system. When all that blood is moving out to your legs to run or your arms to fight, your other body processes get turned down. This means they don’t function at full capacity.

 

When you’re running from the tiger, the last thing your body needs is to properly digest your meal, or keep your Coronavirus-busting T-cells in high production. None of that matters one lick if you end up in the tiger’s belly.

 

Fear and health do not and cannot co-exist over the long term.

 

Fear degrades your body’s ability to repair itself. And it inhibits your immune system function.

 

Fear – and living in a constant state of fear – will help you get sick. It’s that simple.

 

(Of course, it’s already making you sick in terms of your thoughts and emotions. It shows up as shame, self-loathing, unworthiness, not-enoughness, perfectionism – none of which feel very good in your body or improve your health outcomes.)

 

You are so powerful! Have you noticed how your thoughts vibrate out and affect the animals, plants and people around you?

 

Breaking the fear cycle is possible… and necessary

 

If you’re on a spiritual path of deepening self-awareness and increased self-actualization, then you want to be living in Corona-Land right now. This is a blessing.

 

Everything that comes into our experience, no matter how truly scary or deeply uncomfortable, can help us learn to better manage our fear so that we can stop fighting and start creating life on our terms.

 

We are creatures of physical and mental habit. And living in fear has become a habit, conditioned from birth.

 

And while our brains have not evolved as quickly as human technology has, we do have the capacity to choose to respond rather than react to whatever occurs in our lives.

 

There are very real risks to human health posed by COVID-19. This is a fact not to be undermined or disregarded. But let’s be real, chances are pretty good that you won’t get sick.

 

But when we are choosing fear over love, we’re infected with another kind of virus altogether. And there ain’t no antibiotics that can tackle this one.

 

The good news is there are so many ways you can choose to respond to these risks.

 

The work ahead for all of us is to remember to choose how we will respond, and not be taken over by fear and instinctual reactivity.

 

Again – you are so, so powerful! You can choose love and curiosity over fear, and when you do, you are remembering why you are here.

 

Past trauma and your fear response

 

Let’s be very clear on one factor, though. Most (probably all) of us have experienced physical, psychological, or emotional trauma in our lives. And trauma changes the way your brain processes threats.

 

Trauma will cause us to go through life with certain reflexes “turned on,” which means we get stuck in fear-based reactions. We get triggered. And then we react unconsciously.

 

This makes it much harder to make the kinds of choices that will allow our immune systems and other health-promoting body processes to function properly. And duh, this trauma reaction also makes it harder to feel happy and connected and fulfilled in our lives.

 

We need to heal our trauma and old wounds if we’re going to be able to get really good at what’s called “Top-Down Processing.” It’s when we get to use the rational part of our brain to analyze a situation and decide how we’ll respond. “Bottom-Up Processing” is when the fear center of our brain, the amygdala, takes the reins and we react unconsciously to the perceived threats in our life.

 

Acting unconsciously is the same as saying we are not aware of our triggers and we react out of instinct, not out of reason. When we’re unconscious, our conditioned program is running the show and life feels like it’s happening to us.

 

At some point in the future, the Coronavirus will be behind us. But all of those other fears and perceived threats will still be by our side.

 

But neither these threats, nor your past pain or trauma defines you. It is not who you are. It’s a jacket you’ve been wearing. It’s a little crusty – are you ready to take it off and trade it for something else?

 

Will you choose to heal your past in order to create the most vibrant, healthful, alive, purposeful future possible? (This makes life way more fun, not just for you, but for every life you touch.)

 

What you can do right now in the face of COVID-19 (or any other fear in your life)

 

First and foremost, remember, dearheart, that you are powerful beyond measure!

 

Right this very moment, there’s plenty you can do to treat the combined threat of COVID-19 and widespread fear. Here’s a list to get you started:

 

  • Practice mindful self-awareness and/or meditate like a mofo. Are you spinning out right now? Can you pause just long enough to stop spinning and reconnect with your higher knowing? See if you can start implementing top-down processing.

  • Most of us take short, shallow breaths. Fully exchange the air in your lungs, even better if you are outside in sunshine. Practice taking slower, longer breaths and you’ll calm yourself down pronto while also stimulating your rest and repair systems.

  • Nourish your body with healthy foods, drink lots of clean water, get plenty of rest and consider supplements to boost your immunity like zinc, vitamin c, adaptogens, or turkey tail mushroom powder.

  • Use essential oils like eucalyptus, tea tree, lemongrass, peppermint, and lemon among others to keep your hands clean on the go and to clean surfaces at work and at home.

  • Tap or thump your thymus, located in the center of your chest (or heart center area). This stimulates production of those good killer T-cells that fight the good fight against viruses.

  • Get and stay grounded. Nature time will help immensely with this.

  • Turn off the TV (or whatever your fear delivery method of choice is). 

  • Patronize your favorite small businesses, including restaurants. The employees of small businesses stand to lose the most from our collective fear.

  • Move your body and be with friends to boost your feel-good chemistry.

  • Stay out of catastrophe-thinking and watch your worried thoughts. Worrying is like praying for something you don’t want to happen.

  • Use common sense. Stay home when you’re sick. Wash your hands with soap and water. Often. Soap and water is way more effective than hand sanitizers. (You should be doing this anyway.)

  • Make a plan to heal the past pain or trauma that keeps your immune system down and that keeps you stuck in unconscious reactivity so that you can be a force for good and joy and connection in this world.

 

*Please Note: This is a quickly changing landscape. Stay up to date by going directly to the source (rather than panic-inducing news media who are profiting from our anxiety) so that you can make the best decisions for you and your family: World Health Organization and the Centers For Disease Control

 

If this does get as bad as some are suggesting, we get to choose to work consciously, creatively and collaboratively to ensure the health and well-being of our entire community. This is an opportunity to step up.

 

Always, always remember that collectively, we create the world we live in. Times like these it’s great to ask ourselves: What are we creating today?

 

 

If the Coronavirus or anything else is keeping you up at night and you think there’s a fear-based pattern or trauma connection at work, reach out for some complimentary clarity and personalized recommendations to make that shift out of fear and emotional pain and into a healthy, vibrant life of purpose, ease, joy and connection.

 

On March 29th at 11am PST, I’ll be hosting an online healing circle [[ Is Fear Blocking Your Highest Wisdom ]] where we’ll deep dive into the connection between fear, higher knowing, the crown chakra (awakening) and the coronavirus. Grab a ticket and join us if this resonates or you want to know more. We’ll close with a global healing activation. Join us: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/99243942303

 

 

Forget Resolutions. Write This Instead.

why resolutions don't workF Resolutions.

 

For as long as I can remember, the passing of a New Year held a little extra shine for me. No matter what’s going on in my life or in the world, the New Year provides a good measure of hope that anything is possible. It’s a clean state.

 

Back in the day, I remember setting resolutions for myself. They’d be dusty by February, and they always left an icky residue.

 

I didn’t understand it then, but there is a reason why resolutions often “fail” and a reason it feels so icky when they do.

 

Resolutions rarely work because we come at them from a place of not-enoughness, judgment and lack. Faulty, crappy thinking.

 

We feel bad about our weight, so we resolve to lose some of it.

 

We feel guilt about how much alcohol we’ve been drinking, so we resolve to cut it out for a few weeks.

 

Or we feel some shame about how we’ve been treating our once-in-a-lifetime vessel, so we resolve to go to the gym.

 

Nevermind that some of us hate the gym.

 

Actions that are motivated by shame, lack, or unworthiness – that are fueled by thoughts that simply confirm how unworthy or unlovable or imperfect we are – will seldom, if ever, produce the results we crave.

 

It’s like flogging a dead horse. And then when we fail, we get EVEN MORE validation of our unworthiness. It’s the shame spiral of hell.

 

A much more valuable exercise would be to ask, “Why do I want to lose weight? What will losing weight do for me? How will I feel about myself, and the world, and food, etc etc etc, if I lose 10 pounds?”

 

The important part is how you will feeeeel. Never ever ever what the scale says.

 

Because when you know how you want to feel, then you can set an intention. The feeling you are after is where you want to steer your high-vibe ship. And if you stay with that intention, you steer your ship exactly where you want to go.

 


Enter 2020. We’re off to a tumultuous start, do you agree? Fires. Iran. Earthquakes. We’re barely two weeks in!

 

Do you feel like having a solid direction for the year would help you not only create what you want to experience, but maybe also keep ya kinda, well, grounded?

 

Do you wish there was another way to chart a course for the year that felt better than failed resolutions? Not so icky?

 

Do you long for a system to get you where you want to go, without the heartache of failed resolutions?

 

This month at Inner Sanctuary, we got you! We’re not only ditching resolutions, we’re setting intentions, and then supercharging them into our 2020 Manifesto!

 

We heartily invite you to join us this Sunday. (We meet the last Sunday of every month, except Jan & Feb and holiday weekends.)

 

We meet online, using Zoom. Come in your PJs if you want. We close each session with a powerful energy activation/healing/meditation that leaves you feeling inspired, connected, alive and in love with your life.

 

Inner Sanctuary is in it’s second beautiful year, and if last year is any indication, it’s going to be a fantastic year for deep healing, communing, and shifting both YOUR energy and the energy of the PLANET. 

Get all the deets and RSVP here

 

Got questions? Reach out and we’ll get it sorted.

 

To your Flourishing in 2020,

Anné

 

P.S. Join us on Sunday, January 19th at 11am PST to Write Your 2020 Manifesto! Want to feel more peace, satisfaction, more energy, or more love in 2020? Bring it! Pick up a new master tool to chart a course in the direction of the life you really want – whatever that is! 

2019. Wild, wild horses.

2019 word of the year2019 has been a wild ride! The energy of this year was fast and furious, like wild stallions riding across a vast plain. All year, I felt the drumbeat of so many hooves and felt the energy pushing everything forward, at a ferocious pace.

 

Did you feel it? The pressure? The time-warp speed of everything? It was exhilarating, and at times excruciating.

 

We were riding the wave sometimes, tumbled below the surface at others. It sometimes seemed difficult to catch our collective breath.

 

If last year was in any way a wake up call to your truth (from your Expanded Self), 2020 will be like a bucket of ice water.

 

We are all being asked to shed our attachments to that which does not serve.

 

This is our attachment to fear, to pain, to suffering of any kind. To the illusion of unworthiness. To conditional love. To our comfort zones.


Word of the year:

If there was one word to sum up 2019, my pick would be trauma. Take a listen around you and you’ll hear it as so many of us are waking up to the reality that we are living out (reenacting) traumas from our past.

 

Whether they are big T traumas, or what I call innocent traumas, we all have something. Surgeries, accidents, birth trauma, assault, not to mention cultural, intergenerational, or secondhand trauma.

 

And these traumas are acting relentlessly upon our individual and collective nervous systems, like a stuck reflex or a switch that’s difficult (but not impossible) to turn off.

 

For me personally, 2019 brought a much-needed and even deeper layer of healing in regards to past physical traumas that have been draining my energy system for years. It can take time to get to the root layer, but it’s so worth it; to feel greater peace, to feel at home in your skin, to bring the past to the light for cleansing and ultimately embracing.

 

More often than not, our identities are wrapped up in stories that obscure the truth of who we are. Stories like: I am this way/My life is this way because I’m adopted, or, I was assaulted, or because of that car accident, or because of the patriarchy.

 

While these things may be a very real part of your past or current life experience, they have nothing to do with the truth of who you are. It’s all surface. It’s a distraction and a deflection of your inner light.

 

It is this very distraction that keeps us in separation. And separation = suffering. And 2020 ain’t got no kind of patience for suffering.

 

Pain? That’s inevitable, but suffering? That’s all on us.

 

Moving into 2020

We have been and continue to be asked to purge, to shed our old wounds, to heal from the past, and release our attachments to 3D reality.

 

By releasing these attachments, we become attuned to the flow of unconditional love. We remove the barriers and roadblocks that keep us in lack, in not-enoughness, in dissatisfaction. We rise above the petty concerns of the ego. We embrace our oneness with All That Is.

 

What is coming in 2020 is even faster, more disruptive, and thus ripe for massive transformation. The time is now to do the work necessary to be clear from the pains of your past, to be present to your present, and to cleanly step into what is coming.

 

In every moment, we get to choose if we will be bowled over and turned asunder with the energy of transformation that is all around us, of if we will rather flow with it, and grow with it.

 

Flowing and growing means releasing those attachments which hurt us, and strengthening those attachments which continue to feed and nourish us. It means we no longer fight with reality. It means we ALLOW. We surrender. We love. We love. We love. And laugh. And BE.

 

If you want to do any clearing or healing specific to this, I highly encourage you to book an energy healing appointment with me and gain momentum with this very important work.

 

We are evolving! It isn’t always the most comfortable process, and yet it can also be breathtaking, playful, and fun. If you’re reading this, you’re already on the ride, no getting off now! 

 

Essential questions to ask at the New Year:

To best prepare for the coming year and all that it has to offer, following are a few questions to stimulate curiosity and clarity. You can download a free worksheet here


Take a look at the 11 most important sectors of life:

  1. Your Relationships & Intimacy
  2. Your Friendships & Social Life
  3. Your Fun Life Adventures
  4. Your Home Environment
  5. Your Physical Health and Fitness
  6. Your Intellectual Life (Learning and growth)
  7. Your Spiritual Life
  8. Your Creativity
  9. Your Community
  10. Your Career or Business
  11. Your Financial Life


Start with just one sector, or group the sectors into four categories and begin with one:

Health (Physical, Intellectual, Home Environment)
Happiness (Relationships, Intimacy, Adventures)
Inner Well-Being (Spirituality, Creativity)
Outer Well-Being (Community, Career, Finances)

 

Step 1: What was the predominant emotional landscape, or feelings associated with that sector or group in 2019?

Step 2: How did you show up in 2019? Were you standing in your integrity?

Step 3: What were your primary growth opportunities (aka challenges) and deepest learnings in 2019?

Step 4: What are your expectations for 2020? What do you want to experience more of? Less of?

Step 5: What single thing can you do today to create the life you want in 2020?

Step 6: What went really well for me in 2019? What is crying out to be celebrated?

 

You can download Six Pivotal Steps For Fruitful Growth here. There are quite a few more prompts in the worksheet to help you gain clarity to co-create your best year yet: 2020!

Bridging the Head and the Heart

The Mind, Decisions, and Duality

 

The mind may be our greatest gift and also lead to our greatest undoing. Sometimes it feels like my mind is at war with my heart.

 

We live in a time and place where the mind has become the most esteemed and revered part of the human. The human mind has achieved and accomplished impressive feats of masterful engineering and design. Humans are exploring the deepest depths of the sea to the farthest reaches of our solar system and beyond. Even so, we are only barely beginning to understand the mind.

 

Through what we perceive to be rational processes, we are tasked with making an inordinate number of decisions each day. Practically every decision we make involves the mind, with very little emphasis placed on the heart’s longings or inner knowing.

 

I should turn right here, I should work harder to get that promotion, I should have known better.

 

The mind is inherently dualistic. There’s the right hemisphere and the left. There’s the conscious and the subconscious mind. There’s the past to consider and the future as well. There’s me and there’s you. Heaven and earth. Masculine and feminine. Suffering and bliss. It’s either/or, rarely and.

 

This dualism can render decision making a tricky business sometimes.

 

The mind is seductive as well. Somehow along the way, it tricked us into believing that it knows best, it has or will find all the answers, and it is the only organ we really need to navigate this thing called life.

 

This has been and continues to be my Achilles heel: I have a driven mind, one that processes my environment quickly, is thirsty for ever more knowledge, and has BIG ideas about what I need to do to accomplish my very lofty goals.

 

And while my goals and intentions are for the betterment of others as well as myself, my mind very often hijacks the process. For me, it shows up as a relentless work ethic that keeps me DOing more than BEing. There’s a compulsion to work harder, left over from my earlier days of perfectionism, and working in a male-dominated industry. There’s an inner voice telling me to keep pushing, no matter what. It’s my mind, driving me ever forward.

 

And while drive and determination are generally good things, moderation is everything. There is a time for pushing, for strategizing, for planning – all things the mind is especially equipped to do. But there is also a time for rest, repair, and rejuvenation. The mind, with its entrenched behavioral patterns, ain’t so good at this part – unless you’ve made rest, repair, and rejuvenation a habit.

 

For me, years of living in the mind space contributed to total burnout (body, mind and spirit). My brain chemistry was fried, my hormones went ultra wacky, and my grind came to a halt. Not because I wanted to take a break – far from it. Everything stopped because my body couldn’t and wouldn’t be driven any further.

 

This was by far the most challenging period in my life. I only knew the life of the mind. Through trauma and the resulting BS I believed about myself, I had nearly severed the energetic connection between my body (my heart) and my mind. I wanted desperately to return to business as usual – to my driven, hard-working, high-achieving life. Spirit said, “No way, Jose” and I had to learn remember how to listen to the wisdom of my heart.

 

Rebuilding my life on the physical plane meant rebuilding my life on the spiritual plane. My heart needed to start navigating if I was going to make it through. I’m grateful for that really difficult experience that forced me into my heart space.

 

Does that mean it’s easy for me now? Some days it is. Lots of days I still struggle. As a creative, my personal creativity is a huge blessing and sometimes feels like a burden. I have more ideas than can ever be brought to fruition in a lifetime. I want to experience EVERYTHING (well, sorta… almost). But the heart and the body say, wait. Rest, relax, repair.

 

Don’t rush the river, it flows on it’s own.

 

 

Want to know how to tell if your mind is in charge and not your heart?

 

I’ll give you a hint, it’s all about the ego. Pay attention to when you hear yourself think or say the following:

I should be/do/say/act…
I want…
I need…

or

You/they should… You’ll/they’ll want… You/they need…

 

Living in the space of the thinking mind creates a false sense of separation. And separation causes suffering. All judging and criticizing happens in this space. And it just doesn’t feel very good.

 

Some of the emotional and chemical reactions to living in the mind space for too long are: intense stress responses, feelings of inferiority or superiority, seeing the world as “other”, feeling a sense of not belonging, not good-enoughness, needing to compare and compete.

 

The Heart and Singularity

 

They used to say the mind is a terrible thing to waste. But what about the heart?

 

If the mind lives in duality, the energy of the heart is singular. The heart lives in the now, in this very moment. The heart expresses the unity of the divine. It is through the energy center of the heart that we are able to connect the BEINGness of our animal nature with the inspired mind. In the chakra system, the heart is the balancing point between the seven chakras or energy centers. It harmonizes and brings together the animal with the spirit.

 

The heart has at least 40,000 neurons, nowhere near as many as the brain. But interestingly, most of the neurons are used to send information, not to receive signals. So while we think of the brain as giving the marching orders for the rest of the body, the heart is wired to send more marching orders than it receives. Why would this be so?

 

According to the HeartMath Institute, the heart is the most powerful source of electromagnetic energy in the body. In addition, the heart’s electrical field is 60 times greater in amplitude than the electrical activity generated in the brain. The magnetic field generated by the heart is 100 times greater in strength than the brain and can be detected up to three feet away in all directions.

 

This explains how high vibe people are infectious and magnetic, even. And why low vibe people or situations will bring us down. When we’re within the electromagnetic field of another, we become entrained to their vibration for better or for worse.

 

We have so many idioms and sayings about the heart: We’re told to follow our hearts, and that our heart knows best.

 

Yet no one teaches us how to follow our hearts, how to trust the guidance and inner knowing of the heart. If anything, our culture teaches us to question the heart and follow our head. Be rational, make smart decisions, do the right thing. While you’re at it, stuff those emotions.

 

Well have you ever noticed how hard it can be to know what the right thing is? Our head says, go left! While our heart says, go right! “I really want to change careers and live a life of purpose, but my head says to stay at the job I hate and chase that money.”

 

The emotional and chemical responses to living in the heart space are: feeling balanced, creative, loving, compassionate, feeling a sense of belonging, following a sense of inner knowing. The knowingness that life is unfolding for you.

 

Living in the space of the heart fosters a sense of unity and connectedness. It is the opposite of and antidote to separateness and the suffering it causes.

 

 

Coherence – How to Bridge the Head and the Heart

 

Coherence is described as clarity of thought, speech, or emotional composure. Or the synchronization or entrainment between multiple waveforms.

 

A coherent energy wave can generate enough power to collapse bridges. Whereas incoherence is like two drummers who can’t keep a beat together. It’s highly disorganized and makes me go a little crazy.

 

When the brain and heart are out of coherence, we feel scattered, annoyed, disorganized in our thoughts and actions, and easily frazzled. We are not at our best, nor our most creative, and certainly not our most loving.

 

To perform and feel our very best, we want to create coherency between our heart and our brain. Our thinking mind tells us the heart needs to get in line with our mind. However, it is the brain that synchronizes to the heart’s coherent rhythm. Not the other way around. You create coherence when you learn to shift your emotional state, which then calms your mind.

 

HeartMath Quick Coherence Technique:

Heart Focus: Focus your attention in the area of your heart, in the center of your chest.

Heart Breathing: As you focus on the area of your heart, imagine your breath flowing in and out through that area.

Heart Feeling: As you continue to breathe through the area of your heart, recall a positive feeling, a time when you felt good inside, and try to re-experience it. It could be feeling appreciation for the good things in your life, or the love and care you feel for someone.

 

From this place of coherence, we can step out of the monkey mind, we can ditch our self-judgment and criticism, and we can better embrace the fullness of our human and spiritual experience.

 

Simply put, by choosing to reprogram our limiting thoughts, heal the pains of the past, and consciously choose to shift our emotional state, we can create the experience we are longing for.

 

Have you ever felt like your head was at war with your heart? Does your heart long for something that your head thinks is unwise?

 

Ask yourself, are you ready to change the stories and habits that keep you in an incoherent state?

  • Am I ready to change what I believe about myself, and what I believe about the world around me?
  • Do I want to continue to feel separate from the world, from the divine, from myself, even?
  • Am I ready to let go of the past in order to create the future experience I am craving?
  • Am I ready to make new habits to change my energetic state?
  • Do I truly believe I am worthy of it?

 

I want to hear about it! Send me a message.

 

Are you ready for clarity around the patterns that keep you out of balance and harmony? Are you ready for change? Book a free session to talk with me and find out what your next best step is to rebalance your head and heart, and create the fulfilling, connected life you’re craving.