Category: Blog

Maybe it’s time to let the old ways die.

How do we live fully and unapologetically from the heart when everything remains so freakin’ uncertain? 


It seemed like this day might never come. Well, it hasn’t quite come yet.


We’ve been holed up for over two months here in the San Francisco Bay Area. While we’re not even close to reopening fully, there are signs of activity all around.


We’ve run the gamut of emotions:

    1. The initial fear and panic gave way to a genuine kindness and care I’ve only seen after a disaster in the community (remembering the Ghost Ship fire in Oakland).
    2. Then came waves of anxiety and anger over prolonged social isolation.
    3. Followed by a palpable resignation.
    4. Which was ameliorated by neighbors drinking beer from soda cups outside the local bar this last week.


How are you managing the social and economic ramifications of COVID-19? It’s been a roller coaster.


In one ear, you’ve been urged to go within. This is your opportunity for deep reflection; we get to monitor our consumption and pair it more closely with our values; maybe this is how we elevate human consciousness…


In the other ear, you’re urged to get back to normal as soon as possible. Get everyone working and consuming again, so we can end the suffering. Let’s pretend this whole thing never happened (except we’re pretty sure we’re coming back here in the fall)…


This weekend we celebrate Memorial Day in the US. We started this tradition back in 1868 after the American Civil War in order to honor those military personnel who were killed in battle.


The Civil War may have been the unmistakable line in the sand to which we can trace the deep divide of the American people. (I’m not much of a historian, so I could be totally wrong. It sure makes for a better story, though.)


I’m feeling deeply conflicted this week. As states reopen, the division is now visual. It’s literally on your face. You can pick your side based on who wears a mask and who does not.


The energetic pulse has shifted again to indignation and anger. With my usual curiosity and a healthy dose of managed concern (which is quite different from worry or fear) I’m taking in the news of employees receiving broken arms or death sentences for asking patrons to wear masks in public spaces.


And of course, there’s Arnaud Arberry’s murder. And who else was swept under the rug thanks to 24-hour fear-mongering Corona coverage?


Is this what we are returning to? Is this what “back to normal” looks like in America?


It’s important to honor what has been lost and harvest the joys, learnings and wisdom so that we may move on. This is why we celebrate Memorial Day. To honor the lives of those who died while in service to the nation.


What if we memorialized the old ways in order to evolve? What can we learn and honor from our past so that we can elevate and move on from a place of wisdom?


Maybe it is time to let the old ways die.


If we are creating a New Earth, do we have room in it for competition? For division? For entitlement at the expense of others? Do we have room for murder or hatred? For fear and anger that runs so deep that another’s life means far less than your own?


What are the old ways we want to keep and nurture?


What are the old ways we – collectively and individually – are ready to let die?


I’m ready to hug and hold the people I love, share meals and stories and breathe the same air.


I’m ready for humans to feel whole, to embrace and embody their worthiness.


I’m ready for all of us to feel grounded, rooted and safe. And to know they are connected – truly intrinsically connected – to everyone and everything. To feel inspired and in love with their life. And to live fully from the heart.


What’s at stake is only everything.


Fear and Loathing in Corona-Land

afraid of corona, fear of coronaNo, Corona-Land is not some mythical tropical island where ice-cold buckets of Corona beers magically appear at your perfectly shaded hammock.


It’s this place – right here – where we humans now reside. For some, it’s a place of curiosity and watchfulness. For many others it’s a place of distrust and fear, and something that at times, borders on outright panic.


Does the Coronavirus have you on edge?

Do you think twice about signing the iPad at the coffee shop with your very own finger? What about the gas pump? And worse, what’s lurking at your favorite restaurant?

Are you flashing back to ’08 as your 401-K starts to wither? Wondering how far your savings might tumble this time?


Even though I’ve literally made it my job to locate and uproot unfounded fears in my clients and myself, I notice that I’m thinking different thoughts at the grocery store. I’m looking around to see who’s sniffling, sneezing, or coughing.


The vibration of mass-scale fear is seeping into my system. And if I’ve got a boatload of tools to counteract that fear, how is everyone else managing?


What do notice over the last week in your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors? Where are you thinking and acting from fear? Does it serve you?


You are built for fear. Dare we say… addicted to it?


Fear keeps us alive. It’s what kept our ancestors out of the tiger’s mouth.


In fact, our bodies are equipped with an incredible threat response system that has saved kerjillions of human lives over countless millennia. You know it as Fight, Flight, or Freeze.


This system is pretty amazing. It’s a combination of lightning fast, mostly involuntary responses to a perceived existential threat.


As soon as you see that tiger your vision narrows, your body tenses, your heart starts pumping. Adrenaline starts coursing through your veins. It’s go time! All in preparation to fight, to flee, or to hide.


That threat can be existential, meaning your very life is at stake, or it can be a threat to the ego, the spirit, or the heart and mind.


This is where that genius system of ours breaks down. Way down.


Because I don’t know about you, but the last time I saw a tiger chase me was, well… never!


What we have are near misses on the highway, not enough social media likes, bosses we hate, people who betray us, and right now: minor to major hysteria over the Coronavirus.


All of these scenarios cause us to live in fear. But unlike our ancestors and that tiger, our perceived threats don’t go back to their den, leaving us to peacefully recover and paint some cool stuff in caves.


Because of our big ol’ brains, our perceived threats never go away. Once that mean boss is removed, we simply find another reason to keep the familiar, fear-induced chemical reaction happening in our bodies.


We’ve become addicted to fear.


Have you noticed yourself slipping into fear lately (or historically)? What’s the cost of playing in this space?


You need a strong immune system right now. This instant!


But here’s the thing, when we’re living in fear, it takes a heavy toll on our immune system. When all that blood is moving out to your legs to run or your arms to fight, your other body processes get turned down. This means they don’t function at full capacity.


When you’re running from the tiger, the last thing your body needs is to properly digest your meal, or keep your Coronavirus-busting T-cells in high production. None of that matters one lick if you end up in the tiger’s belly.


Fear and health do not and cannot co-exist over the long term.


Fear degrades your body’s ability to repair itself. And it inhibits your immune system function.


Fear – and living in a constant state of fear – will help you get sick. It’s that simple.


(Of course, it’s already making you sick in terms of your thoughts and emotions. It shows up as shame, self-loathing, unworthiness, not-enoughness, perfectionism – none of which feel very good in your body or improve your health outcomes.)


You are so powerful! Have you noticed how your thoughts vibrate out and affect the animals, plants and people around you?


Breaking the fear cycle is possible… and necessary


If you’re on a spiritual path of deepening self-awareness and increased self-actualization, then you want to be living in Corona-Land right now. This is a blessing.


Everything that comes into our experience, no matter how truly scary or deeply uncomfortable, can help us learn to better manage our fear so that we can stop fighting and start creating life on our terms.


We are creatures of physical and mental habit. And living in fear has become a habit, conditioned from birth.


And while our brains have not evolved as quickly as human technology has, we do have the capacity to choose to respond rather than react to whatever occurs in our lives.


There are very real risks to human health posed by COVID-19. This is a fact not to be undermined or disregarded. But let’s be real, chances are pretty good that you won’t get sick.


But when we are choosing fear over love, we’re infected with another kind of virus altogether. And there ain’t no antibiotics that can tackle this one.


The good news is there are so many ways you can choose to respond to these risks.


The work ahead for all of us is to remember to choose how we will respond, and not be taken over by fear and instinctual reactivity.


Again – you are so, so powerful! You can choose love and curiosity over fear, and when you do, you are remembering why you are here.


Past trauma and your fear response


Let’s be very clear on one factor, though. Most (probably all) of us have experienced physical, psychological, or emotional trauma in our lives. And trauma changes the way your brain processes threats.


Trauma will cause us to go through life with certain reflexes “turned on,” which means we get stuck in fear-based reactions. We get triggered. And then we react unconsciously.


This makes it much harder to make the kinds of choices that will allow our immune systems and other health-promoting body processes to function properly. And duh, this trauma reaction also makes it harder to feel happy and connected and fulfilled in our lives.


We need to heal our trauma and old wounds if we’re going to be able to get really good at what’s called “Top-Down Processing.” It’s when we get to use the rational part of our brain to analyze a situation and decide how we’ll respond. “Bottom-Up Processing” is when the fear center of our brain, the amygdala, takes the reins and we react unconsciously to the perceived threats in our life.


Acting unconsciously is the same as saying we are not aware of our triggers and we react out of instinct, not out of reason. When we’re unconscious, our conditioned program is running the show and life feels like it’s happening to us.


At some point in the future, the Coronavirus will be behind us. But all of those other fears and perceived threats will still be by our side.


But neither these threats, nor your past pain or trauma defines you. It is not who you are. It’s a jacket you’ve been wearing. It’s a little crusty – are you ready to take it off and trade it for something else?


Will you choose to heal your past in order to create the most vibrant, healthful, alive, purposeful future possible? (This makes life way more fun, not just for you, but for every life you touch.)


What you can do right now in the face of COVID-19 (or any other fear in your life)


First and foremost, remember, dearheart, that you are powerful beyond measure!


Right this very moment, there’s plenty you can do to treat the combined threat of COVID-19 and widespread fear. Here’s a list to get you started:


  • Practice mindful self-awareness and/or meditate like a mofo. Are you spinning out right now? Can you pause just long enough to stop spinning and reconnect with your higher knowing? See if you can start implementing top-down processing.

  • Most of us take short, shallow breaths. Fully exchange the air in your lungs, even better if you are outside in sunshine. Practice taking slower, longer breaths and you’ll calm yourself down pronto while also stimulating your rest and repair systems.

  • Nourish your body with healthy foods, drink lots of clean water, get plenty of rest and consider supplements to boost your immunity like zinc, vitamin c, adaptogens, or turkey tail mushroom powder.

  • Use essential oils like eucalyptus, tea tree, lemongrass, peppermint, and lemon among others to keep your hands clean on the go and to clean surfaces at work and at home.

  • Tap or thump your thymus, located in the center of your chest (or heart center area). This stimulates production of those good killer T-cells that fight the good fight against viruses.

  • Get and stay grounded. Nature time will help immensely with this.

  • Turn off the TV (or whatever your fear delivery method of choice is). 

  • Patronize your favorite small businesses, including restaurants. The employees of small businesses stand to lose the most from our collective fear.

  • Move your body and be with friends to boost your feel-good chemistry.

  • Stay out of catastrophe-thinking and watch your worried thoughts. Worrying is like praying for something you don’t want to happen.

  • Use common sense. Stay home when you’re sick. Wash your hands with soap and water. Often. Soap and water is way more effective than hand sanitizers. (You should be doing this anyway.)

  • Make a plan to heal the past pain or trauma that keeps your immune system down and that keeps you stuck in unconscious reactivity so that you can be a force for good and joy and connection in this world.


*Please Note: This is a quickly changing landscape. Stay up to date by going directly to the source (rather than panic-inducing news media who are profiting from our anxiety) so that you can make the best decisions for you and your family: World Health Organization and the Centers For Disease Control


If this does get as bad as some are suggesting, we get to choose to work consciously, creatively and collaboratively to ensure the health and well-being of our entire community. This is an opportunity to step up.


Always, always remember that collectively, we create the world we live in. Times like these it’s great to ask ourselves: What are we creating today?



If the Coronavirus or anything else is keeping you up at night and you think there’s a fear-based pattern or trauma connection at work, reach out for some complimentary clarity and personalized recommendations to make that shift out of fear and emotional pain and into a healthy, vibrant life of purpose, ease, joy and connection.


On March 29th at 11am PST, I’ll be hosting an online healing circle [[ Is Fear Blocking Your Highest Wisdom ]] where we’ll deep dive into the connection between fear, higher knowing, the crown chakra (awakening) and the coronavirus. Grab a ticket and join us if this resonates or you want to know more. We’ll close with a global healing activation. Join us:



Forget Resolutions. Write This Instead.

why resolutions don't workF Resolutions.


For as long as I can remember, the passing of a New Year held a little extra shine for me. No matter what’s going on in my life or in the world, the New Year provides a good measure of hope that anything is possible. It’s a clean state.


Back in the day, I remember setting resolutions for myself. They’d be dusty by February, and they always left an icky residue.


I didn’t understand it then, but there is a reason why resolutions often “fail” and a reason it feels so icky when they do.


Resolutions rarely work because we come at them from a place of not-enoughness, judgment and lack. Faulty, crappy thinking.


We feel bad about our weight, so we resolve to lose some of it.


We feel guilt about how much alcohol we’ve been drinking, so we resolve to cut it out for a few weeks.


Or we feel some shame about how we’ve been treating our once-in-a-lifetime vessel, so we resolve to go to the gym.


Nevermind that some of us hate the gym.


Actions that are motivated by shame, lack, or unworthiness – that are fueled by thoughts that simply confirm how unworthy or unlovable or imperfect we are – will seldom, if ever, produce the results we crave.


It’s like flogging a dead horse. And then when we fail, we get EVEN MORE validation of our unworthiness. It’s the shame spiral of hell.


A much more valuable exercise would be to ask, “Why do I want to lose weight? What will losing weight do for me? How will I feel about myself, and the world, and food, etc etc etc, if I lose 10 pounds?”


The important part is how you will feeeeel. Never ever ever what the scale says.


Because when you know how you want to feel, then you can set an intention. The feeling you are after is where you want to steer your high-vibe ship. And if you stay with that intention, you steer your ship exactly where you want to go.


Enter 2020. We’re off to a tumultuous start, do you agree? Fires. Iran. Earthquakes. We’re barely two weeks in!


Do you feel like having a solid direction for the year would help you not only create what you want to experience, but maybe also keep ya kinda, well, grounded?


Do you wish there was another way to chart a course for the year that felt better than failed resolutions? Not so icky?


Do you long for a system to get you where you want to go, without the heartache of failed resolutions?


This month at Inner Sanctuary, we got you! We’re not only ditching resolutions, we’re setting intentions, and then supercharging them into our 2020 Manifesto!


We heartily invite you to join us this Sunday. (We meet the last Sunday of every month, except Jan & Feb and holiday weekends.)


We meet online, using Zoom. Come in your PJs if you want. We close each session with a powerful energy activation/healing/meditation that leaves you feeling inspired, connected, alive and in love with your life.


Inner Sanctuary is in it’s second beautiful year, and if last year is any indication, it’s going to be a fantastic year for deep healing, communing, and shifting both YOUR energy and the energy of the PLANET. 

Get all the deets and RSVP here


Got questions? Reach out and we’ll get it sorted.


To your Flourishing in 2020,



P.S. Join us on Sunday, January 19th at 11am PST to Write Your 2020 Manifesto! Want to feel more peace, satisfaction, more energy, or more love in 2020? Bring it! Pick up a new master tool to chart a course in the direction of the life you really want – whatever that is! 

2019. Wild, wild horses.

2019 word of the year2019 has been a wild ride! The energy of this year was fast and furious, like wild stallions riding across a vast plain. All year, I felt the drumbeat of so many hooves and felt the energy pushing everything forward, at a ferocious pace.


Did you feel it? The pressure? The time-warp speed of everything? It was exhilarating, and at times excruciating.


We were riding the wave sometimes, tumbled below the surface at others. It sometimes seemed difficult to catch our collective breath.


If last year was in any way a wake up call to your truth (from your Expanded Self), 2020 will be like a bucket of ice water.


We are all being asked to shed our attachments to that which does not serve.


This is our attachment to fear, to pain, to suffering of any kind. To the illusion of unworthiness. To conditional love. To our comfort zones.

Word of the year:

If there was one word to sum up 2019, my pick would be trauma. Take a listen around you and you’ll hear it as so many of us are waking up to the reality that we are living out (reenacting) traumas from our past.


Whether they are big T traumas, or what I call innocent traumas, we all have something. Surgeries, accidents, birth trauma, assault, not to mention cultural, intergenerational, or secondhand trauma.


And these traumas are acting relentlessly upon our individual and collective nervous systems, like a stuck reflex or a switch that’s difficult (but not impossible) to turn off.


For me personally, 2019 brought a much-needed and even deeper layer of healing in regards to past physical traumas that have been draining my energy system for years. It can take time to get to the root layer, but it’s so worth it; to feel greater peace, to feel at home in your skin, to bring the past to the light for cleansing and ultimately embracing.


More often than not, our identities are wrapped up in stories that obscure the truth of who we are. Stories like: I am this way/My life is this way because I’m adopted, or, I was assaulted, or because of that car accident, or because of the patriarchy.


While these things may be a very real part of your past or current life experience, they have nothing to do with the truth of who you are. It’s all surface. It’s a distraction and a deflection of your inner light.


It is this very distraction that keeps us in separation. And separation = suffering. And 2020 ain’t got no kind of patience for suffering.


Pain? That’s inevitable, but suffering? That’s all on us.


Moving into 2020

We have been and continue to be asked to purge, to shed our old wounds, to heal from the past, and release our attachments to 3D reality.


By releasing these attachments, we become attuned to the flow of unconditional love. We remove the barriers and roadblocks that keep us in lack, in not-enoughness, in dissatisfaction. We rise above the petty concerns of the ego. We embrace our oneness with All That Is.


What is coming in 2020 is even faster, more disruptive, and thus ripe for massive transformation. The time is now to do the work necessary to be clear from the pains of your past, to be present to your present, and to cleanly step into what is coming.


In every moment, we get to choose if we will be bowled over and turned asunder with the energy of transformation that is all around us, of if we will rather flow with it, and grow with it.


Flowing and growing means releasing those attachments which hurt us, and strengthening those attachments which continue to feed and nourish us. It means we no longer fight with reality. It means we ALLOW. We surrender. We love. We love. We love. And laugh. And BE.


If you want to do any clearing or healing specific to this, I highly encourage you to book an energy healing appointment with me and gain momentum with this very important work.


We are evolving! It isn’t always the most comfortable process, and yet it can also be breathtaking, playful, and fun. If you’re reading this, you’re already on the ride, no getting off now! 


Essential questions to ask at the New Year:

To best prepare for the coming year and all that it has to offer, following are a few questions to stimulate curiosity and clarity. You can download a free worksheet here

Take a look at the 11 most important sectors of life:

  1. Your Relationships & Intimacy
  2. Your Friendships & Social Life
  3. Your Fun Life Adventures
  4. Your Home Environment
  5. Your Physical Health and Fitness
  6. Your Intellectual Life (Learning and growth)
  7. Your Spiritual Life
  8. Your Creativity
  9. Your Community
  10. Your Career or Business
  11. Your Financial Life

Start with just one sector, or group the sectors into four categories and begin with one:

Health (Physical, Intellectual, Home Environment)
Happiness (Relationships, Intimacy, Adventures)
Inner Well-Being (Spirituality, Creativity)
Outer Well-Being (Community, Career, Finances)


Step 1: What was the predominant emotional landscape, or feelings associated with that sector or group in 2019?

Step 2: How did you show up in 2019? Were you standing in your integrity?

Step 3: What were your primary growth opportunities (aka challenges) and deepest learnings in 2019?

Step 4: What are your expectations for 2020? What do you want to experience more of? Less of?

Step 5: What single thing can you do today to create the life you want in 2020?

Step 6: What went really well for me in 2019? What is crying out to be celebrated?


You can download Six Pivotal Steps For Fruitful Growth here. There are quite a few more prompts in the worksheet to help you gain clarity to co-create your best year yet: 2020!

Bridging the Head and the Heart

The Mind, Decisions, and Duality


The mind may be our greatest gift and also lead to our greatest undoing. Sometimes it feels like my mind is at war with my heart.


We live in a time and place where the mind has become the most esteemed and revered part of the human. The human mind has achieved and accomplished impressive feats of masterful engineering and design. Humans are exploring the deepest depths of the sea to the farthest reaches of our solar system and beyond. Even so, we are only barely beginning to understand the mind.


Through what we perceive to be rational processes, we are tasked with making an inordinate number of decisions each day. Practically every decision we make involves the mind, with very little emphasis placed on the heart’s longings or inner knowing.


I should turn right here, I should work harder to get that promotion, I should have known better.


The mind is inherently dualistic. There’s the right hemisphere and the left. There’s the conscious and the subconscious mind. There’s the past to consider and the future as well. There’s me and there’s you. Heaven and earth. Masculine and feminine. Suffering and bliss. It’s either/or, rarely and.


This dualism can render decision making a tricky business sometimes.


The mind is seductive as well. Somehow along the way, it tricked us into believing that it knows best, it has or will find all the answers, and it is the only organ we really need to navigate this thing called life.


This has been and continues to be my Achilles heel: I have a driven mind, one that processes my environment quickly, is thirsty for ever more knowledge, and has BIG ideas about what I need to do to accomplish my very lofty goals.


And while my goals and intentions are for the betterment of others as well as myself, my mind very often hijacks the process. For me, it shows up as a relentless work ethic that keeps me DOing more than BEing. There’s a compulsion to work harder, left over from my earlier days of perfectionism, and working in a male-dominated industry. There’s an inner voice telling me to keep pushing, no matter what. It’s my mind, driving me ever forward.


And while drive and determination are generally good things, moderation is everything. There is a time for pushing, for strategizing, for planning – all things the mind is especially equipped to do. But there is also a time for rest, repair, and rejuvenation. The mind, with its entrenched behavioral patterns, ain’t so good at this part – unless you’ve made rest, repair, and rejuvenation a habit.


For me, years of living in the mind space contributed to total burnout (body, mind and spirit). My brain chemistry was fried, my hormones went ultra wacky, and my grind came to a halt. Not because I wanted to take a break – far from it. Everything stopped because my body couldn’t and wouldn’t be driven any further.


This was by far the most challenging period in my life. I only knew the life of the mind. Through trauma and the resulting BS I believed about myself, I had nearly severed the energetic connection between my body (my heart) and my mind. I wanted desperately to return to business as usual – to my driven, hard-working, high-achieving life. Spirit said, “No way, Jose” and I had to learn remember how to listen to the wisdom of my heart.


Rebuilding my life on the physical plane meant rebuilding my life on the spiritual plane. My heart needed to start navigating if I was going to make it through. I’m grateful for that really difficult experience that forced me into my heart space.


Does that mean it’s easy for me now? Some days it is. Lots of days I still struggle. As a creative, my personal creativity is a huge blessing and sometimes feels like a burden. I have more ideas than can ever be brought to fruition in a lifetime. I want to experience EVERYTHING (well, sorta… almost). But the heart and the body say, wait. Rest, relax, repair.


Don’t rush the river, it flows on it’s own.



Want to know how to tell if your mind is in charge and not your heart?


I’ll give you a hint, it’s all about the ego. Pay attention to when you hear yourself think or say the following:

I should be/do/say/act…
I want…
I need…


You/they should… You’ll/they’ll want… You/they need…


Living in the space of the thinking mind creates a false sense of separation. And separation causes suffering. All judging and criticizing happens in this space. And it just doesn’t feel very good.


Some of the emotional and chemical reactions to living in the mind space for too long are: intense stress responses, feelings of inferiority or superiority, seeing the world as “other”, feeling a sense of not belonging, not good-enoughness, needing to compare and compete.


The Heart and Singularity


They used to say the mind is a terrible thing to waste. But what about the heart?


If the mind lives in duality, the energy of the heart is singular. The heart lives in the now, in this very moment. The heart expresses the unity of the divine. It is through the energy center of the heart that we are able to connect the BEINGness of our animal nature with the inspired mind. In the chakra system, the heart is the balancing point between the seven chakras or energy centers. It harmonizes and brings together the animal with the spirit.


The heart has at least 40,000 neurons, nowhere near as many as the brain. But interestingly, most of the neurons are used to send information, not to receive signals. So while we think of the brain as giving the marching orders for the rest of the body, the heart is wired to send more marching orders than it receives. Why would this be so?


According to the HeartMath Institute, the heart is the most powerful source of electromagnetic energy in the body. In addition, the heart’s electrical field is 60 times greater in amplitude than the electrical activity generated in the brain. The magnetic field generated by the heart is 100 times greater in strength than the brain and can be detected up to three feet away in all directions.


This explains how high vibe people are infectious and magnetic, even. And why low vibe people or situations will bring us down. When we’re within the electromagnetic field of another, we become entrained to their vibration for better or for worse.


We have so many idioms and sayings about the heart: We’re told to follow our hearts, and that our heart knows best.


Yet no one teaches us how to follow our hearts, how to trust the guidance and inner knowing of the heart. If anything, our culture teaches us to question the heart and follow our head. Be rational, make smart decisions, do the right thing. While you’re at it, stuff those emotions.


Well have you ever noticed how hard it can be to know what the right thing is? Our head says, go left! While our heart says, go right! “I really want to change careers and live a life of purpose, but my head says to stay at the job I hate and chase that money.”


The emotional and chemical responses to living in the heart space are: feeling balanced, creative, loving, compassionate, feeling a sense of belonging, following a sense of inner knowing. The knowingness that life is unfolding for you.


Living in the space of the heart fosters a sense of unity and connectedness. It is the opposite of and antidote to separateness and the suffering it causes.



Coherence – How to Bridge the Head and the Heart


Coherence is described as clarity of thought, speech, or emotional composure. Or the synchronization or entrainment between multiple waveforms.


A coherent energy wave can generate enough power to collapse bridges. Whereas incoherence is like two drummers who can’t keep a beat together. It’s highly disorganized and makes me go a little crazy.


When the brain and heart are out of coherence, we feel scattered, annoyed, disorganized in our thoughts and actions, and easily frazzled. We are not at our best, nor our most creative, and certainly not our most loving.


To perform and feel our very best, we want to create coherency between our heart and our brain. Our thinking mind tells us the heart needs to get in line with our mind. However, it is the brain that synchronizes to the heart’s coherent rhythm. Not the other way around. You create coherence when you learn to shift your emotional state, which then calms your mind.


HeartMath Quick Coherence Technique:

Heart Focus: Focus your attention in the area of your heart, in the center of your chest.

Heart Breathing: As you focus on the area of your heart, imagine your breath flowing in and out through that area.

Heart Feeling: As you continue to breathe through the area of your heart, recall a positive feeling, a time when you felt good inside, and try to re-experience it. It could be feeling appreciation for the good things in your life, or the love and care you feel for someone.


From this place of coherence, we can step out of the monkey mind, we can ditch our self-judgment and criticism, and we can better embrace the fullness of our human and spiritual experience.


Simply put, by choosing to reprogram our limiting thoughts, heal the pains of the past, and consciously choose to shift our emotional state, we can create the experience we are longing for.


Have you ever felt like your head was at war with your heart? Does your heart long for something that your head thinks is unwise?


Ask yourself, are you ready to change the stories and habits that keep you in an incoherent state?

  • Am I ready to change what I believe about myself, and what I believe about the world around me?
  • Do I want to continue to feel separate from the world, from the divine, from myself, even?
  • Am I ready to let go of the past in order to create the future experience I am craving?
  • Am I ready to make new habits to change my energetic state?
  • Do I truly believe I am worthy of it?


I want to hear about it! Send me a message.


Are you ready for clarity around the patterns that keep you out of balance and harmony? Are you ready for change? Book a free session to talk with me and find out what your next best step is to rebalance your head and heart, and create the fulfilling, connected life you’re craving.



Healing retreat

Do You Make Time For Yourself?

Are you willing to make time for yourself?


Are you 100% content with the direction your life is taking?

 Do you feel like your comfort zone has gotten a little too tight?

 Are you craving a deeper connection with your intuition?

 Do you need a little more head and heart space in your life?



If these questions strike a nerve, it might be time to retreat.


We are all creatures of habit, living each day much like the day before. It can be a real yawn sometimes. We can get stuck in those habits that are comfortable because they are known – and yet they’re really uncomfortable because we’re not growing.


By pulling back from your regular life, you create the space to listen to your inner guidance. It’s a great time to take a mental inventory to reassess where you’re at right now.


When considering a retreat, ask yourself:

What’s going great for me right now?

What can I learn from where I’ve been?

What do I want more of in my life?

What am I ready to let go of?

Am I willing and open for change?


A retreat can help you reset and recalibrate your inner compass and get you moving in the direction that lights your fire.


A retreat is also about communing with others. While we may all take a retreat for different reasons, there’s always something to be learned from those you retreat with. We all have a unique lens through which we see the world, and retreats give us a rare and intimate view through another’s lens.


A retreat allows us to take that much needed step back from the fullness of our lives to see the bigger picture. We’re reminded of our priorities and allowed the opportunity to course correct if we realize we’ve gone astray.


These are all great reasons to go on retreat.


But the best reason? Everything you want and need is within you. All you have to do is create the space to look inside. Ask the right questions and allow the answers to arise. Retreats make that process a whole lot easier. 


If you’re feeling ready to make some head and heart space for yourself,
then please join us for Gathering Gold, a Full Moon Weekend Retreat.

October 11-13, 2019
Alamo, CA
More details here.


Intuition, huh?

Use your intuition Photo by Wyron A on UnsplashIntuition, huh! What is it good for? Absolutely something!

What is intuition?


Intuition is your very own internal GPS system. Within each of our (sometimes) messy minds and beautiful bodies lies a super power. A navigational system so precise, it puts Google Maps to shame.


It’s pretty darn cool, and most of us are not using it to its fullest potential (myself often included in the count).


Intuition is your very own navigational hardware and software all rolled into one. And you take it with you everywhere you go.


Yes, you my dear, are deeply intuitive. You may not always be listening, but your intuition is definitely talking.


Even if you’ve never thought much about your intuitive capabilities, for sure you’ve had experiences where you knew who was calling when the phone rang, or you knew to step off the street right before a truck came barreling down on you, or something told you to miss the meeting where the stomach virus was shared with all in attendance. Thanks, intuition!



Why can’t I hear my intuition talking to me?


We weren’t taught to follow our intuition, or our inner guidance. There are many possible reasons why you may not be aware of this inner voice yammering away at you day after day. Here are a few:

  • We all went to school and had to memorize facts. The more we memorized facts, the more we were rewarded. We therefore became conditioned to rely on external information over inner guidance.
  • Most of us look outside ourselves for information. We ask for advice from people we trust. We tend to over-rely on others. Obviously, we sometimes NEED external support to work through our issues, that’s how I make my living, after all. There’s a balance there, is what I’m saying.
  • It’s possible that no one ever told you that your inner voice is talking to you constantly.
  • Actively listening to your intuition takes practice, and requires you to be quiet amidst the cacophony of modern life.
  • The Internet now “knows” everything. We spend way too much time in front of screens, rather than with ourselves.
  • The analytical mind is the opposite of the intuitive mind. Intuition is more closely related to our emotional mind, yet the modern world demands our analytical attention, which is where we tend to linger.
  • Our pineal gland (the hardware that allows us to connect to our intuition) needs to be detoxified or decalcified.



How to develop your intuition.


A great first step towards developing a keener intuitive sense is a regular meditation or mindfulness practice. When you set a daily appointment with yourself and your subconscious, you are intentionally creating space for your intuition to be heard.


Feel into the energy of your gut. You have huge bundles of nerves in the area around your diaphragm and around your naval. Think of these nerves as many tiny antennae picking up signals. What does your tummy feel like when you ask for or receive a sign?


Here are some other options to help you develop your intuition:


Set aside some quiet time to be with yourself. Ask a question of yourself like, should I move to Santa Fe or stay in Oakland? Then go into a meditative state, or a trance state (binaural beats or drumming is perfect for this) and see what bubbles up.


Go for a walk in nature and be present with your environment. Set an intention before you start out to have your inner guidance be presented to you while you move.


Do a writing exercise using stream of consciousness of free association. Set an intention first, then set a timer for ten or twenty minutes. Using music, either baroque or Indian ragas, helps to loosen the lock to your subconscious mind.


Remind yourself that your intuition is here to serve you, that the answers are inside (and in the field around you), and that you are open to receive.



How to trust your intuition.


The world conspires against our intuition. We are simply “too busy” or too overwhelmed with the activities of daily life to listen well to our intuition.


And then because we’re not used to listening, we don’t always understand the messages we receive. Or we don’t like the message we hear. (Ahem, it’s time to stop drinking.)


To begin trusting your intuition, it’s best to start asking small questions. Ask for guidance that won’t upend your life. Things like: should I turn left here, should I wear blue today, should I eat beans or tuna for lunch? Then just listen. You might feel a response, you might hear a word, or you might feel a tingle in your body.


If you really want to trust your intuition, you need to get past your ego. My “little mind” is always telling me I “should” be doing this or that, or having this or that kind of experience.


Usually when I get quiet, I get different responses.


Remember, your “little mind” reasons, your intuitive mind senses.



Want to learn about herbs, foods, and essential oils that support your intuition, the pineal gland, and your third eye? Come to my wellness talk in Alameda, CA on August 22. We’ll be activating our pineal glands and the energy center of the third eye. And then go deep with me on August 25 for Inner Sanctuary.


What happens when we don’t listen to our intuition?


Bad stuff happens when we don’t listen to our intuition! Over the last seven years, NOT listening to my intuition has actually cost me $10,000 in medical bills. I’m talking 10K in cold, hard cash. Yes, ten thousand dollars left my bank account because I didn’t heed the voice in my head.


The first incident in 2012 left me in the hospital for five days with an abscess that required intensive antibiotic infusions. I didn’t have insurance at the time and it cost me $8000.


The second incident last year was more harmless, though still costly. I was at my brother’s house, about to leave for a three-day camping trip on the way home from Colorado Springs to Oakland. I “needed” to do a load of laundry. All he had on hand were Tide pods with Febreze. (I do not recommend them.)


A barrage of thoughts went through me as I held the Tide pod in my hand. What are these pods made of? How does it stay liquid inside and not melt through? Will I have some sort of reaction to this?


A clear voice told me not to use the pod. But I didn’t think far enough ahead to just use hot water, look for baking soda or vinegar, or just not worry about the laundry.


I tossed the pod in, my little mind reminding me that I’d never had a reaction to Tide (even though I only use free and clear products).


After three days of camping, popping Benadryl like tic-tacs, and fun hives that continued to spread over my entire body, I ended up in a Nevada ER to be treated for a systemic allergic reaction.


You could say that I’m pretty hard-headed sometimes.


Learn from my mistakes, please. Fail to listen long or often enough and your intuition will speak to you in ways that you will best understand. For me, it takes me out at the knees, and hits me where it hurts most: my physical body and my bank account.




Why should we develop our intuition? 


Besides saving us time, money and heartache, our intuition has a great deal of information to offer us; information that has a profound affect on our ability to self-actualize, to know better health outcomes, and to have richer relationships and life experiences.


Still, I think it’s pretty cool to know who is calling before you see the home screen light up.


But even better, we have the ability to access a great deal of information from the ever-present quantum field of which we are a part. The quantum field carries electro-magnetic frequencies, and these frequencies carry information.


Think for a moment of your TV as the hardware that picks up signals from the field, or atmosphere, and translates them to information you can understand (i.e. pictures). Your pineal gland, which sits in the middle of your brain, is doing the same thing. It is the hardware that receives information from the field.


You can think of this information as a knowingness; and you can think of the pineal gland as the hardware that translates the information you seek into something your brain can understand.


Which job offer should I take?

Should I invest more into this relationship, or call it quits?

What are the underlying causes of my health issues?


All the answers you seek are available to you. You simply need to be clear, be present, and ask.


I’d love to hear from you – when was the last time you heard loud and clear from your intuition?


Want to learn more practical ways to be better in tune with your intuition? Come to my wellness talk in Alameda, CA on August 22. We’ll be activating our pineal glands and the energy center of the third eye. And then go deep with me on August 25 for Inner Sanctuary.


Independence and Suicide (Reconciling my teacher’s death)

Independence and Suicide (Reconciling my teacher’s death)


Sunday morning, an hour before opening Inner Sanctuary, I checked my email and found a note from my PSYCH-K® teacher. He was saying goodbye.


Over the last year and a half, he had shared with me his 13-year struggle with chronic fatigue, and his inability to connect deeply with his human existence.


In this time, I too had my private moments of struggle with fatigue and the penetrating frustration that ensues when it seems nothing you try is working.


He was near the abyss. I was too some days.


He was nearer.




Some say suicide is never the answer.




Independence Day is this week. The death of my teacher has me considering what freedom is, if at its most fundamental, it does not mean freedom over your own life. (Or freedom over your own body.)


Autonomy. Sovereignty. Self-government. Self-determination.


Our culture has strong taboos against suicide. Philosophers have grappled with suicide for ages. Camus writes, “There is but one truly serious philosophical problem and that is suicide.”


My punk rock, anti-establishment perspective concluded years ago that society declares war on suicide because the person who checks out can no longer pay taxes, or be a cog in the machine.


Schopenhauer had a similar idea. “It is an extravagant demand that a man who no longer cares to live for himself, should still go on living as a mere machine for the benefit of others.”


It’s no small irony that the vast majority of philosophers contemplating the moral, ethical, and societal questions that suicide poses were themselves somewhat immune to suicide’s siren song. Schopenhauer, whose own father may have drowned himself, lived to see 72, dying peacefully on his couch of respiratory failure in 1860.




When spouses and children are left behind with diminished resources to meet their needs, is suicide wrong?




Is refusing chemotherapy suicide? Somehow we understand that it isn’t. (On good days, at least.)




We met three and half years ago, when I took my first PSYCH-K® workshop. I was stepping away from the edge of my own abyss. At the time, I was receiving energy healings and my healer encouraged me to learn the tools she used to become my own healer.


I thought she was crazy, but the healings had been so profound in their ability to provide quick relief to the heartache and mental madness I was experiencing. My curiosity won out.


This guy was is a really great teacher. The perfect combination of playful and serious. He understood timing, and as a great communicator, he delivered content in ways it could be most easily assimilated. You knew without a doubt that he knew his material inside and out, backward and forward.


Through his classes and teachings on PSYCH-K®, you came to know that you could really change and free your mind. And help others to do the same.


He introduces his workshops this way:


Celebrate life by learning PSYCH-K®, freeing your mind, and sharing it with others. The processes facilitate attainment of whole-brain thinking subconsciously, the level where our responses and reactions to life situations (real or imagined) happen automatically. Whole-brain states, the outcome of all PSYCH-K® balances, result in expanded thinking and perception. More practically, whole-brain states offer significantly more available options with which we may respond to life’s situations. This includes how we respond internally to past events (including trauma), current situations, and opening pathways to move toward or attract desired experiences and goals.




Some say suicide is the biggest Fuck-You ever.


For what it’s worth, I hope his suffering is lessened. I’m holding him with compassion, curiosity, and loving-kindness. I hope he learned something useful for his continued journey.




I never knew if he wanted me, or any of us, to tell him it was ok to die. Or if he wanted someone to talk him off the ledge. (I tried. It was received with anger.)




Who am I to say you should live, to try again, to keep going? To celebrate life?


Who am I to say you should die?


Who am I to say that you didn’t do enough, or explore other alternatives to the fullest extent, or simply try harder not to die?




(What does it mean when your teacher, who knows the change processes better than anyone, cannot use them to find meaning, balance, or a will to live?)




Should I have tried harder?




This teacher’s death is complicated.


He says it was the result of a serious and lengthy deliberation. He says he felt he had learned everything he could. He says we should cheer him on. True to form, he even makes a joke using language. You can hear him smiling through the words.


And so it goes.


And so he went.




Independence is self-rule. It is the ability to choose your own destiny. It is authority and control.


How can anyone else say that “there must be another way” when we do not know the way for another?




Yet we do this. Every day. We expect others to live. We expect others to be the best they can be. (Or sometimes the worst?)


His death is not what hurts me. It is his pain. It is all of our pain. It is our disconnection at a fundamental level from each other.


It is the personal and collective abyss of isolation and separation upon whose edge we humans tread.




It would serve us well this week to remember that American Independence was not won by hundreds of thousands of individuals acting of their own accord.


It was won through forging alliances, putting aside our differences, and coming together for a single aim: that of self-government and self-rule.




In his death, as in his life, he is still teaching. The results of his actions are here now with us, rippling out, affecting many. As the butterfly flaps its wings in China, a storm has hit our shores. A storm of emotions, memories, laughter, and love.




Our work now is multi-fold: to find our own meaning and our own will to live. To understand this event in the context of his life, his experiences, his inner workings which we will never be able to know.


Our work is to take his teachings – all of his teachings – with us as we grow, heal, and continue to serve.


To show up fully at the edge of the abyss and decide if we shall cast love into it rather than ourselves.

Self-compassion tools

Self-Compassion Is Damn Hard Sometimes

Self-compassion toolsIt Ain’t Always Easy To Be Kind To Yourself


Despite our best efforts, taking solid care of our emotional, spiritual, and psychological selves can be damn hard sometimes. In life, some of the only things I can guarantee you (besides an end to it all) is that there will occasionally be curveballs, too-tall speed bumps, and lotsa opportunities to revert to living in survival mode.


I don’t know how it shows up for you, but these are the dark and muddy places where stress eating, acting out, saying things we don’t mean, feeling resentful, and wanting to run and hide take over. (And that’s all in just the first few hours of my day!)


These are also our growth edges. This is where if we lean in to the discomfort, emotional pain or anxiety, we might actually learn something about ourselves and what we can do better to meet our interior needs and experience a little grace in our lives.



What happens when we don’t practice self-compassion?

I dunno about you, but I tend to hang with a pretty awesome crew of self-aware people who are actively seeking to improve themselves and their lives. They hold down jobs to meet their physical needs, they have big ol’ hearts and tend to care a lot for others, and they often know what they need to keep their inner game strong, too. Stuff like time off of work, dinner with friends, and hiking in the woods.


But for all of us, life can get very stressful at times. Things beyond our control can cause a careful energy balance to tip into the red. Go too long with an energy deficit and even the smallest issues can seem impossible to surmount.


When my self-compassion game slips into the red, I feel:

• Overwhelmed
• Discouraged
• Resentful (at what, I’m not always sure!)
• Emotionally and physically exhausted
• An emptiness inside
• Like the biggest imposter ever (‘cuz I teach this stuff to others for a living)


To be sure, failing to care for our emotional and spiritual needs creates the perfect storm of suckiness. It makes it harder to feel connected to the people we care most about. And when we feel uninspired, overwhelmed, or tapped out, life is just harder all around because we’ve lost our oommff!


What happens when we DO practice self-compassion?

I have talked on and on about the health benefits of getting out of survival mode and into a loving place of self-compassion. You can read more about how a self-compassion practice leads to improved health and well-being outcomes here.


A lot of other groovy things happen when we practice self-compassion and radical self-acceptance. You may not have realized this, but when we start to treat ourselves with kindness (and I’m not talking mani-pedis, friends, it’s the internal stuff that matters most) we create a shift in our perspective.


A shift in perspective from “I am not worthy of self-compassion or self-directed kindness” to “Hey, maybe if everyone else is, then I am too!” will cause a radical shift in your external experience.




Yes! Change how you feel about yourself on the inside and what you see, feel, and experience in your outer world will change too.


When you treat yourself with the same kindness that you would offer to your best bud, you will open your eyes to new opportunities that you couldn’t see before.


Things like applying for that promotion at work because now you think you can actually pull it off! Or working up the nerve to ask that cute barista out who makes your daily full-fat, half-caf, coconut latte. Or maybe you’ll muster up the courage to finally start writing the next great American novel.


Self-compassion changes the way we think about ourselves. In addition, it changes the way we look at the world, and importantly, our place in the world.


A self-compassion practice creates:

• A sense of belonging
• An ability to maintain healthy personal boundaries
• A wider perspective on what you are able to be, have, do, and achieve
• Compassion for others, for animals, and for our planet
• Increased connection with others
• Greater willingness and desire to stretch, grow, and become your best self
• An incredible ability to create the life you really want


You got that? Practicing radical self-acceptance and self-compassion will allow you to create the life you want for yourself. I ain’t kidding around on this one.


How do I get my self-compassion practice back on track (or start a new practice)?

I’ve got so many tips and tricks up my sleeves for you, my dears! It’s helpful to remember that we are all individuals with different needs, schedules, abilities, and natural inclinations. Therefore, it’s best to find a few tools that work best for you and stay open to the possibility that you will need different tools in different situations.


What follows are just a few of my tried and true methods that I teach my clients to practice. Test them out and see what jives with you.



A gratitude practice is essential when you are down in the dumps for any reason, and especially when you’ve fallen off the self-compassion wagon. If you really struggle with accepting your body (health, appearance, or weight), try a gratitude practice where you list three things each morning about your body that you are grateful for. Examples: Smiling eyes, bodacious booty, strong legs to carry you.



A meditation or mindfulness practice will help you to see your thoughts more clearly. When we become more aware of the internal monologue between our ears, we become able to course correct and can then choose to focus on more loving thoughts. Meditation is all about getting to know ourselves better and being more awake when we are “off the cushion”.


Lovingkindness (Metta Meditation)

Practicing lovingkindness towards others first, and then to ourselves can create a bridge to focusing loving thoughts towards ourselves. Finding a simple Metta meditation can be very calming and centering, and easily practiced throughout your day. I love Insight Timer, a free meditation app with more than 15,000 meditations available in multiple languages. Get it and use it!


Your Breath!

Your breath is your greatest ally of all. Most of us are never fully breathing into our lower lungs like we did when we were babies. Taking a moment to find and focus on our breath can remind us to re-center, put the jar of peanut better down, and then decide if we are really hungry or just freaked out and wanting to numb and soothe ourselves.


Tools To Thrive By

If you’re serious about showing up for yourself and creating big change in your life, please consider enrolling in my four-month program, Tools To Thrive By. It’s open for beta testing at a reduced price. This program teaches you all the tools you need to find your center, come home to yourself, and create the life you really want. And of course, none of this can be done without practicing self-compassion!


Hire a Coach or Healer

Seriously, sometimes our numbing or limiting patterns are so hardwired we can’t even see them fully, which really gets in the way of self-compassion. This is when it’s time to call in reinforcements in your self-compassion crusade.

I had to do this because my self-loathing and self-destructive patterns were so pervasive that I couldn’t escape the quagmire. Decades of quietly hating myself had taken a serious toll on my health, my relationships, my outlook on life and what I thought possible for myself; namely a state of peace, openness, and living my purpose.

It is honestly the best money I have ever spent. Reach out if you want to have a quick convo with me to see if your self-compassion game needs a little boosting and what will work best for you in your life.