Or… Why we need to stop building (heart) walls.
Ah, the heart wall.
As a highly sensitive person, I’ve gone through most of my life feeling like I’ve got to have my armor on. You know that feeling, right? You’re never quite sure where the next jab, or slight, or overly harsh word will come from, so you’re always on the ready to protect yourself from the potentially painful words or actions of others. And it’s even worse when nasty words or deeds appear to be hurled at you from those closest to you.
You see, as we go through life, we unconsciously build a wall around our heart to keep ourselves “safe”. We often do this for very good reasons. Some of us had shitty childhoods. Every one of us felt embarrassed at some point during our school years. We’ve been jilted by lovers, fired by crappy bosses, betrayed by our besties. We’ve been the targets of misogyny, racism, sexism, ageism, dumbassism. It happens to all of us.
What no one told us, however, is that as evolved adults with ever improving awareness and coping strategies, our heart wall does us more harm than good.
This heart wall acts like a distorting lens, filtering your current experience with layers of past experiences. Think, “the last time this happened, I got hurt, therefore, I will stay aloof and guarded, or not engage at all,” only this is happening on the subconscious, non-thinking level, outside of your awareness.
A common result of the heart wall effect is engaging in knee-jerk reactions to recurring situations. Another way of saying this is feeling triggered by certain familiar relationship dynamics or other predictable events in your life. It’s like being stuck in the same groove of that tired, old record.
But alas, there is hope for us yet!
If you find yourself reacting to your life situations, as opposed to responding to those events, you might want to explore the connection between the wall you’ve unconsciously built to protect yourself and it’s long-term consequences on your life. I invite you to have a conversation with me to discover if your heart wall is blocking you from experiencing the fullest and richest relationships and life experiences possible.
To your (heart) health,