Why Women Can’t Have it All

Wait. What?!

They told us we could have successful careers, earn Wife of The Year Award while simultaneously raising productive families, being upstanding community members, and feeling completely fulfilled. That’s the dream of the (Post-) Modern Woman, right?


And that’s what we’ve been trying to do for the last few decades. We’re on overdrive in the workplace, making damn sure we can compete with our male counterparts so we won’t be passed over for promotion. If we’ve managed to find a mate, we devote precious extra-curricular energy to creating happy homes. Add active kids to the mix, and we somehow manage to wrangle their increasingly demanding schedules, while raising them up to be healthy members of society. We volunteer at church, in our kids’ schools, and we organize neighborhood events. And still we manage to find time to compare ourselves to curated images on social media that show us just how we’re measuring up (or not).


And we’re happy, right? We’re more fulfilled than ever. It’s totally working out for us.


OK, yes, I’m being totally sarcastic. It’s a shit show. We’re encountering more and more health issues, chronic fatigue, overwhelm, anxiety, auto-immunity, and general dissatisfaction with ourselves. We’re losing touch with our inner guide and our spirits are undernourished. Our relationships are hurting, and we’re becoming more isolated and separate feeling, even though technology tells us otherwise. Sisters, we’re suffering.


You see, we’ve been trying to fit ourselves into the masculine model of the world, because the Women’s Movement created this opening for us to do so. The Movement (thankfully!) gave us permission to be, do, and have everything that our male counterparts are, do, and have. But unfortunately, the only system in place to model our new expectations upon was this masculine model, which more and more women are finding untenable.


Now I don’t mean to imply that there is anything inherently wrong with the masculine model, it is simply that we need to find a better balance. There is a season to plant seed, a season to tend, a season to harvest, and a season to digest and plan. We (the whole world) have been harvest obsessed; pushing, building, innovating, exploring, and exploiting, without paying much attention to the necessary rest and digest cycle that nature intended, and in fact, requires.


Our biggest challenge as humans right now is learning to operate and navigate this masculine world while being completely authentic, in touch and in tune with our true selves. This doesn’t mean lipstick and skirts (unless that’s your thing). The feminine model simply respects all players, values communication, cooperation, community, and the environment (inner and outer). The feminine model isn’t restricted to women either; in fact, it isn’t about gender at all. It’s about acting with a different mindset in a wholly different space from the predominate space.


But how do I do this? How do I get to that space?
I’m doing everything I’m supposed to, but I still don’t feel satisfied.
And I’ve achieved so much, but in the end, I don’t feel fulfilled.
I don’t even know who I am sometimes.


If this is you, know that you are not alone. Many of us are relearning how to be completely authentic and on fire without burning out or otherwise killing ourselves, while also remaining completely integrous in our professional and personal relationships. Learning to stand in your personal power (ladies and gents!) and to use your voice for good is not only going to radically change your life, it will alter the course of humanity and our planet. Kinda important, I’d say.


A good place to start is to get quiet and ask yourself a few questions. Listen for answers that come from your heart or your gut, not your head. Allow yourself to write what comes and you may just surprise yourself.

In what life situations do I not show up as myself?
What are my three biggest fears? (Professional, personal, family, etc)
Is there something missing from my life?


If you would like more clarity about how to authentically navigate this world in a way that honors your individuality and leaves you feeling more fulfilled, please schedule a complimentary Discovery Session with me. I don’t bite, I promise.